[Sean1979]

I read yesterday that there were 7 different types of ‘gamblers’. I was intrigued and thought which one was I?

1) Professional?
2) Casual social?
3) Serious casual social?
4) Relief and escape?
5) Personality?
6) Conservative?
7) Compulsive?

I wasn’t any of them… I was looking for the ‘Make money gambler’.

As a young twenty-something I had excellent sports knowledge and 9 times out of 10 I was always picking winners amongst my friends down at the pub especially in football games. I didn’t gamble at this point and I hadn’t even thought about gambling just seeing my ‘talent’ as a bit of fun. That was until I confided in my friend one day that I was going through a bit of a financial rough patch. He suggested that I start putting my sports knowledge to good use to make some money by gambling. I was hesitant at first as I was concerned that my knowledge would let me down plus the fact that I come from a hard-working family and the thought of frittering money away made me uncomfortable.

After some consideration I decided to take my friend up on his advice and I opened an online betting account. Things started to go well. I placed small bets with the balance going ever higher into the black giving me the chance to withdraw money to resolve my financial issues. This continued to the point where I was able to pay off credit cards and student loans and I was able to treat myself and my partner to big nights out and weekends away. This was all on the back of gambling, it was like a second income that was tax free. I had savings for the first time in my life and things couldn’t have been better. One night after about 6 months of gambling I lost £200 on a stupid tennis bet so I decided to walk away. I was happy to do so especially as I had resolved my initial financial problems, a healthy bank balance and I didn’t want for anything.

18 months later I had come into some unexpected financial issues that required large sums of money to resolve. So I took the opportunity to re-visit my old gambling account to make money to pay the financial problems. No problem I thought, i’ve done it before and i’ll do it again. I deposited £100 to let the good times roll so to speak. I won. I won. I lost. I won. I lost. I lost. I lost. I lost. I lost. I lost. I lost. I lost…you can see where i’m going here. I should have written that first £100 deposit with two more zero’s and yep you guessed it £10,000 was sunken into my online account.

Everything I had paid off, everything I had paid for, every extravagance came back to haunt me. I was broke. Online account balance read £0.00 as did my bank balance and added to this a maxxed-out £5k credit card. I was getting along OK with the income from my employment, all bills covered, mortgage paid but I also went through the savings I had set aside for my partner’s engagement ring and the long-haul holiday I had planned so that I could propose to her. It’s this loss in amongst everything that eats me up inside the most. My partner is beautiful, loving, kind, generous and she deserves to have nice things in life.

So, to my journal name ‘Make money NOT by gambling’. I’m of the mind-set that I can earn money through other ways and not by gambling. I’ve done a hell of a lot of reading on different sources of income and I feel if I can divert my energy, focus and attention on something other than gambling I can begin to make money in a better way that is not going to put me into even more debt.

I’d be delighted to hear from anyone who may be able to suggest some ideas to help me make some money away from the demon clutches of gambling and I can put this unfortunate time in a tightly sealed box with the words ‘NEVER TO BE OPENED AGAIN’.

Thanks for reading if you got this far and I look forward to hearing from some of you. I have found writing this to be helpful and I will regularly update to keep everyone informed of my progress.

Best wishes

Sean

[velvet]

Hello Sean and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[Sean1979]

So, yesterday it took me three hours to write my first post but today is the first day I have not gambled or deposited money to online gambling sites for four weeks. How am I feeling? Well the constant headache I had through stress has gone, but, the itchiness to bet has been strong. I’ve got NO money to gamble and as my initial post explains i’m struggling financially to sustain my lifestyle without people becoming aware of my problems.

Up until yesterday I was a ‘Need to make money’ gambler. Today, i’m a man possessed with trying to make money through alternative means. I’ve read countless articles how to make money quickly from writing e-books to selling on Ebay, from passive income streams to completing online questionnaires. Problem being is I have nothing to sell, the e-book market is saturated, passive income streams are hard to establish quickly and online questionnaires won’t keep the wolf from the door.

If there is something I could come up with that requires drive and motivation to succeed then i’m the man to do it. My day job pays well but I have very little left after all bills have gone out.

I’m struggling emotionally to know that I can’t give my partner the life she deserves. I’ve gambled savings that I can’t get back and she deserves better than me, I feel like she is missing out on a lot because of my selfish gambling. Although, it was never intended to be selfish as it was trying to make money for us to have a few extra things in life.

I’m going to read more articles now on money making and see if I can come up with something.

Thanks again for reading.

Sean

[charles]

Hi Sean,

Well doen on looking for help.

All this talk of making money and you don’t say what you do for a living?

The best way of course to make money is to earn it.

Trying to get quick, easy money is what got us in to trouble in the first place.

What you need to do is to address your debts. Are teh repayments manageable on your earnings? if not then there is a lot of free financial advice around. As you are talking in £ I assume that you are in the UK? Talk to the Citizens Advice Bureau or Stepchange. Thye will help you get your debts to a manageable place.

Then of course you have to address the gambling. Read the other stories here, you will see a lot that you will relate to. You will also see the success stories – what are they doing that you can apply to your own situation?

Yoiu can get a blocker for your PC that will stop you visiting all online gambliong sites. If you use your phone then talk to your phone provider to block them or get a more basic phone.

Keep posting and let us know the positive steps that youa re taking.

The thing with advice that we don’t want to here is that it is usually the advice which will help us stop gambling.

[Sean1979]

Charles – thanks for reading my updates and thanks for your your message. My employment is 9am – 5pm and I am paid approx £30k. I have earned every penny I have to date as I left school at 18 and walked into a job the very next day. I have been unemployed only twice for 2 and 3 weeks at a time otherwise I have always held down employment and at one time I had 5 jobs when I was at university. Hard work and the benefits of doing so was instilled in me from a young age and I continue to work hard at everything I do. I have always occupied my time doing something rather than nothing and at present I have the mind-set that I can put my energies into something other than gambling to get back the losses I have made gambling. I have a payment plan agreed with a debt consolidation service and financially I am pushed, but, I can eat and my debts remain unnoticed to my partner. I want to make money to pay extra towards my debts so that these are paid off sooner. I have considered downloading software to block gambling sites but this is something i’m not prepared to do especially on a shared computer/laptop. Thanks for your message it really helps to know that someone is reading.

Day 2
I’ve not had any urges today but this is probably linked to knowing that I don’t have any money to gamble with. Historically, i’ve never liked gambling on a Monday so I know it sounds a bit weird but it’s never took my interest.

I read on another person’s journal last night that they were living a nightmare and each day was difficult to get through. My nightmare is that my days are full of my mind asking me ‘How am I going to get this money back?’. I can’t move on, I can’t get past this dread at the moment of not knowing how I can get money to ramp-up payments to get rid of my gambling debt. However, i’m pleased it’s Day 2 as it’s not Day 1 and i’m feeling upbeat and positive.

I’ve been reading about passive income streams today and how big time effort in the first instance can lead to future incomes. I’m toying with several ideas like an online blog with affiliate marketing but i’m not a social butterfly to have regular traffic visiting my blog, or, i’m not interesting for people to want to spend time reading about me and my escapades and added to this I don’t have many friends in-fact I could ***** them on one hand. I’m going to keep my thinking hat on and see what transpires.

Tomorrow is food shopping I think and i’m going to have to pay as my partner has paid the last three weeks. I’ve evaded paying but I got paid last week so it’s definitely my time to pay.

I’m dearly hoping to keep this journal updated daily and I will do my best to post on other journals so that together we can support each other.

Thanks again for taking the time to read my update.

Sean

[DNcanada]

First of all I don’t get having to put a subject in to do a reply to a comment. Anyway, thanks Sean for posting. I read it and like to hear how others are coping. I got a loan to consolidate my debt and my line of credit was supposed to be closed but they didn’t and so of course I racked it up again so now I have more debt. So be careful when you get available money. I wish they at least lowered my limit.

[Anonymous]

Hello Sean

Forgive me for saying but I think you’re approaching this all wrong. It is quite evident that you have quite a serious gambling problem but you don’t say this. Do you believe you have a gambling problem?

If so the last thing you should really be looking for is a way to make extra money. It doesn’t matter how much money you have, as a compulsive gambler in denial there’s no two ways about it you will end up in even more mess the more money you get.

The vast majority of people on this forum are honest hard working folk who, for whatever reason, have ended up with a gambling addiction, no one asked for it.

In order to start living a life without gambling requires some drastic changes in our lives, including how we think about things, and how we relate to others.

You are living a lie, covering this up from your partner. The impression I get reading this thread is that not only are you lying to her, you’re lying to yourself. Big style.
I’d be interested to hear if you consider yourself to be a problem gambler. Realising and admitting you have a problem is the first step down a different path.
There is a link somewhere on this site to a list of twenty questions which may help you realise that you are a CG (compulsive gambler).

You’re a young man with a healthy salary and hard work will get you out of your financial hole. But only if you stop gambling. I suggest your seriously ask yourself the question. If you firmly believe that you do have a problem then this a great place to help you turn yourself around.

As to “get rich quick schemes” I don’t think you’ll get much help with that here, although most of us are experts in “get pathetically skint in the bat of an eyelid schemes”.

Sean you have a great opportunity to enhance life lots of us here are getting on and misspent our teens, twentys, thirtys, fortys and even longer chasing our losses and looking for a quick fix to the financial shite we put ourselves in. Don’t make the mistake many of us have. Admit you have a problem and seek out help for it.

Life as a compulsive gambler is dire, I’ll be paying off my gambling debts until I die. A bitter pill to swallow, and a heavy cross to bear, but it is what it is.
I think by posting on here that you maybe realise you do have a problem so well done on coming across and looking. I understand how you see that your financial predicament may be overbearing and that you think it requires a quick fix, It aint going to happen mate.

Be honest with yourself first and foremost, and you will maybe get the help you require.

Geordie.

[Sean1979]

DNcanada – thanks for your comment. We’ve all been there thinking a little extra credit will make everything rosy in the garden once again, sadly it doesn’t. Getting my debts consolidated really did help me massively and I am now safe in the knowledge knowing that I can repay what I’ve spent.

[Sean1979]

Geordie – thanks for your comprehensive message, I’ll try and reply to your comments fully:

Is it such a bad thing to want to channel my energy into making money and recouping my losses than to wallow in self pity? If a child knocks over a lego tower and it breaks the next thing they do is to build it back up again. Am I not allowed to want to build up my cash tower again? I am merely trying other avenues to get back money I’ve spent on gambling.

I know I have a problem, I’ve admitted it myself and joining this site is a start. I have to start somewhere. I’m not lying to anyone and I’m not lying to my girlfriend I’m just not giving her the life she deserves at present.

As for recovery, diversionary methods or activities are key to relapse prevention and a keen desire to want to invest my time and energy into wanting to make money is not such a bad thing as long as I can do this appropriately. It may be that I can make money and involving my partner at every stage so that she can keep tabs on profit and loss margins. This could be a drastic change in thinking for me as previously I was spending money in ways that have been detrimental to my existence.

I’m in a good positive place at present especially as it’s day three of not gambling and I’m beginning to be realistic with my efforts towards getting rich quickly. I’m not an entrepreneur nor am I suitably positioned to make money creatively because I’m very black and white. Creative sparks just don’t fly off me, ha ha!

I’m delighted that you have taken such time and effort to respond to one of my posts and for that I am eternally grateful.

[Sean1979]

Not a bad day today, I’ve been around positive people and I know I have the willpower to overcome this devastating period of my life. I’m reading a lot about how successful people have made their money and it was through sheer hard work and dedication, not by gambling which makes me feel something of a mug really. I feel that in my professional life I have achieved to some degree and that I can use transferable skills I have in my day time job to address my gambling issues.

I have a strong desire this time around to win at life and this can be partly achieved by not gambling.

I am very grateful for this site at this time and I appreciate everyone’s comments.

Best wishes

Sean

[Anonymous]

Sean

Regardless of what I or anybody else says to you, you will go ahead and make your own decision. All I’m saying is yes, frankly it is a ridiculous decision to channel your energy into making money and recouping your gambling losses. The biggest loss here isn’t the fifteen thousand pounds you lost gambling, but the trust and honesty between you and your partner. The money has gone, never to return, you should try to accept that.

The money you have lost is only one of many consequences of your gambling, it is not the root cause of the problem. It would be much better for you to channel your energies into not gambling before you started building extra money. You’re right about the child and his Lego tower, but sooner or later the child will just give up. Many give up on recovery before giving it a chance. A smart child might puzzle out how and why his tower keeps falling and decides he must change something fundamental; Stronger foundations or thicker walls.

It’s a waste of time me getting on your case you will do what you’ve always done and make your own decision. But isn’t it just making the wrong decisions what brought you here in the first place?

I talk not only from my own experiences but those of other CGs I’ve met over the years. It is a very dangerous addiction. Not every addict will end up a thief or a criminal, but a lot do. It’s been the reason I’ve been to prison 5 times in my life. I don’t talk out my arse about this because it has ruined my life many times over, and that of my family and friends. At one time I used to go to GA (early 80’s), and think to myself I’ll never get as bad as that, I’ve been worse than the lot of them put together, I Know how it works. I also know not everyone will get as bad but I can see a lot of similarities to myself, in your post. And in all honesty man, until you address the gambling you havn’t got much hope of turning things around.

Mind you Sean, these are only my opinions and at the end of the day, I know how, when I was in a similar position to you other people’s advice was just dismissed without any real consideration.

Anyway

Good post, wishing you all the best

Geordie.

[Sean1979]

I must admit Geordie that I’m taken aback by the time you have taken to put together your message to me and I’m very grateful for your time. I didn’t expect anyone to read my profile let alone reply so I thank you for the energy and passion you have afforded me so far.

Recovery is a broad spectrum and how each individual sets-out their recovery stall and manages each aspect of their recovery is pertinent to them. I have chosen the path to my recovery to be that of making money and I am even more determined to make this a success by investing my time and effort into something I feel I can learn about and make money from. I’m not adverse to trying new things to occupy my time for instance I’ve learnt a language, I’ve written a film, and completed numerous short courses on a variety of different subjects. You are right, the money has indeed gone, but, there’s no harm in trying to ‘win’ it back by other methods.

The root cause of my gambling was a want to provide a little something extra for me and my girlfriend. That little something extra soon turned into that little something lost. The consequences of this loss was a deterioration in physical and mental health. I feel each day I have spent away from gambling has improved my mind, body and spirit and I’m sleeping better now. I know it’s early days but I’m feeling good, strong and positive about my future. My recovery will not just be about making money it will also be about doing the things I neglected more often like visiting friends and family and going to different attractions locally that I haven’t yet been to.

I have read and dissected your messages and I have certainly not dismissed your advice or opinions as I would be foolish to do so. Getting on my case has not been a waste of time Geordie, believe me it really hasn’t, it’s allowed me to reflect on myself, my partner and our future. I’m guilty of making wrong decisions, yes, but just like my gambling losses I have to forget about them and begin to build-up my Lego tower with the strong foundations I hold dear which is peace, love and understanding.

My turn around and my determination to succeed is underway and if I’m the first gambler to decide to address this terrible addiction by aiming to make money and not get drawn back to gambling then I’m ready and willing to share my secret – at a price, ha ha!

Thanks again, you will not be forgotten.

Best wishes

Sean

[Sean1979]

A really good day in work today. Recently, I’ve been helping a lot of my colleagues when they have been struggling and I was thanked in a number of ways today that were very touching especially from junior members of staff. It is the smallest thing that can make you feel on top of the world and they cost nothing to give or receive!

I’m positive, i’m strong and i’m now starting to look at myself in the mirror again. I’m beginning to make a new start for myself and it’s very exciting especially with the summer fast approaching. I love pottering about in the garden, buying new garden things and being in the outdoors which is a complete contrast to sitting in-front of a 3.5″ mobile phone or 15.5″ laptop screen gambling my life away.

I watched Barcelona FC tonight for the first time in absolutely ages without having a bet on the match and it was very enjoyable although I did get a twang of what if… especially given the last 5 or 6 minutes. I must admit that the twang lasted a millisecond and it was over before it had begun.

As i’ve written previoiusly, this journal is helping me in ways I had never thought possible and I genuinely look forward to updating each day.

Thanks again for reading,

Best wishes

Sean

[charles]

Hi Sean, As you have said yourself, passive income streams are hard to come by and need a lot of time and effort. Nothing that is going to happen quickly.

You will likely find that if you focus on not gambling then that will bring financial rewards in itself. People get teh pay rises, achieve the targets to get bunuses etc when they are less distracted by gambling, when they can focus 100% on their work.

I have read your thread and I have read your Profile. Whilst you “aren’t lying to your girlfriend” your profile suggests that youare being less than open and honest.

Your profile is right, telling people about the problem doesn’t always help. What does help though is showing them by our actions what we are going to DO to deal with the problem. She could help with the financial accountability that will help you stop gambling, help with the barriers needed when you do have money available.

If your debts repayments are mangeble then your debts will take care of themselves, the benefits of not gamblign will appear.

Keep your main focus on staying gamble free though as otherwise fo curse it doesn’t matter a damn how much we earn as we will lose it.

Want to give yourself the biggest payrise you will ever have? Staying gamble free does just that.

Keep posting.

[i-did-it]

Hi Sean, I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry at your thread . I find it funny that you are so like me in your thoughts – especially about the raising money bit- but I also wanna scream at you to stop being like me !i have take on extra work, sold on eBay etc and made literally thousands of pounds extra to pay off my debts -unfortunately because I have a gambling addiction the money went to support my online gambling .
It is easy for you to be gamble free right now – you have no money . You are stinging from the realisation of what u have done . (I am stinging today too and have no desire to gamble)

I am not knocking you – indeed I congratulate you on ur gamble free time – but please listen and hear .
The people who have taken the time to write comprehensive replies on your thread have all been where you are , have all had the same thoughts – we have googled how to make money fast , we have looked at online methods to make money and we have all continued to gamble because we are so addictied we found it really hard to stop . We all wanted the money back – but the real secret is to let the money go – draw a line under it and put it down to experience and let it go !

I am so sorry that I am better at giving advice than following it , but I wish I was where the others who have written on your thread are today . Listen Sean it will save you years of hiding the truth and having a tortured mind !

[Anonymous]

Hi Sean
You are noticeable by your abscence. I hope that it’s not because you’ve succumbed to Cheltenham or any other gambling. Maybe it’s because you’ve started on your plan to make extra money. Whatever the reason please post an update. You will get real support here mate, for a very real problem.

To be honest I hate to see people make the mistakes that I’ve made in the past, I really do. But I know beyond any doubt that anyone no matter how much shite they maybe in, can change, and can learn to live a better life.

Only words mate I know, but words that are true and I hope you heed them.

All the best.

Geordie.

[Anonymous]

Often wonder if you still read this forum.

[Author]

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