[somedieyoung]

Hi, I am a gambler and I mostly do sportsbook bets, although I used to play slots for some time too. Back in 2020 I started the struggle to get better and fight against my addiction. It was a hard one, but I managed to stay “sober” for a few months. I paid my debts, fixed by personal situation and kept on enjoying normal life. Unfortunately in early Januray 2021 I relapsed and I kept on playing until today… I didn’t really spend THAT much time, cause I already had quite a lot to do anyway, but still not only I wasted some valuable time, but also lost a lot of money as well as went back in debts, luckily smaller ones then before. Shit happens, right? Yeah, but the most important part is to start fighting again. And again, if it will be necessary ever again, although let’s hope it won’t.

Luckily I still have my hobbies, I still have my personal relations in place (pandemic damaged it a bit, but the gambling didn’t), I still have part time job (freelancing actually, but I usually write for the same few clients anyway), I still do great on university, so nothing is lost and I can focus again on the recovery. Yeah, debts are a problem and I will need to work hard on incoming months to repay them, but apart from that, well, I see a damn big light at the end of the tunnel. Let’s hope it isn’t a train!

So what did I do and what’s my plan for incoming months?

a) stop any kind of gambling (obviously)
b) learn more about the addiction – understanding it is a key to success. Although I already know a lot about mechanisms behind it, there’s still quite a lot to learn. In my free time this week I plan to read more and more about the addiction and how to fight it.
c) work hard, repay the debts, start making some small savings
d) start this journal and post here an update every week (let’s say every Sunday)

I already blocked my accounts on all gambling providers available in my country and renewed gamban license for next month (when I get some money from my work I will buy it for a whole year). I installed it on my PC and will install tomorrow on my mobile phone (I still have one bet which I made a few days ago; it will be resolved tomorrow and if I win I would like to withdraw money – I can’t make any new bets there anyway and will immediately install gamban after resolving it anyway).

Okay, so that’s it for now. Tomorrow will be day one I suppose. Please keep your fingers crossed and wish me good luck or something like that, although I do not believe in luck (well, all gamblers shouldn’t). Cheers and thanks for reading!

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