[parmenion1]

having read some of the stories on the forum unfortunately it all sounds very familiar and equally as hideous as my story. I was around 14 when I discovered slot machines I think the jackpot at that time was £3 paid out in tokens, as soon as I discovered it that was me hooked, who knows if things would have been different had I not won straight away. I left school early and got a job earning not bad money at that time however most of it would be given to the bar or arcade for 50pence pieces and remember never having any money after the first week and embarrassing myself making up some excuse why I had no cash. in essence since then to no where I am 42 it has been pretty much the same story, I have tried on so many occasions to quit having been near suicide and feeling so so low then it’s a case of – ok I’ll just spend a tenner which becomes 40 etc etc till no cash left. I have been lucky in that I have never stolen to play however at one point had around 35k on credit cards and loans and pretty much all of it having been spent on gambling. I have ruined any relationship that I have had – causing arguements whenever cash was mentioned I.e. why I had none. I don’t actually gamble on other things as don’t like horse racing and never been a huge fan of cards. so where I am now I have been living with a girl for a year and a half – continued gambling when I met her though promised myself I wouldn’t – came to a Head when I had no cash to go on holiday so came clean. this has been really difficult for both of us though especially her as she says what sane person stands in front of a machine that takes no skill, knows it loses and yet continues to play. I have tried stopping and she controls the money now which in itself is a problem as I resent her for it.
I try not to think how much I have lost but it’s in the hundreds. of thousands I would suspect – I have decided however enough really is enough so been looking at various avenues – and this is step one – not very well written I know and there are other embarrassments for me because of gambling but it’s a start

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