[mclewlow]

Today I lost a lot of money and not for the first time, and over the years I have racked up debts into the thousands bearing in mind I am only 22years only! and because of this horrible addiction I feel terrible that I have lied to family and friends, I never have any money and that’s what pulls me to gamble to try and keep “tiding” myself over until payday… but its just one nasty circle. I literally wake up in the morning wanting my first gamble and I don’t sleep at night until I’ve made enough money or lost it all, and if I’ve lost it then I go on the internet searching for payday loans to cover my loses, I promise myself I wont do it again but once the money reaches my account, I start again thinking I can make it all better! I just cannot believe how much of a hold this awful addiction can have on a person. My dads always been a gambler and I always shouted at him telling him is was just weak and I couldn’t understand why he could just not enter a bookies, but now I know why. But its even harder for me in the fact I can use the latest technology which he cant, I gamble day and night online, via my computer or phone.

I need help! But at least now I can admit it, and starting today I have come clean to my mum and I will make sure I don’t slip up again!

It has been a great help to read all the forums on here, but also by putting all this down in writing is actually a great help too, its like it lifts a weight off your shoulders, like I finally admitted to everyone what I am and there’s no turning back I will concur this! and if I want any kind of future I will have to!!

[velvet]

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Hello Mclewlowand thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[monique]

I just want to add a welcome, Mclewlow. I hope you will find the support here to do what you know is necessary to make your life gambling-free. You say you have got so much debt at the age of only 22 – but your relative youth also means you have many years of healthy life to look forward to, if you now stick to your intention to turn your life around. It is not easy, but keep in touch here, get into the ‘live’ groups, when you can ( check the times under the heading ‘support groups’ at the top of the page), use the helpline etc. There are many ways of getting help on your journey towards freedom from gambling. The determination in your heart and mind is the biggest and most important thing.

I wish you well.

Monique

[C_Noel]

Such a familiar storyline perhaps because it is relative to mine. I’ve just recently found this site and have begun my journey to a gamble-free life as well. Being so young and realizing that it is now time to turn the tables is great! It sounds like you’ve taken a great step. I wish you the best in recovery.

[monique]

Hi Mclewlow. How has your week been? How are you now? Hope you are feeling hopeful about making progress.

Best wishes,

Monique

[mclewlow]

Sorry I haven’t replied until now, I’ve been through a bad week, relapsed and have been gambling hard again, now I’m short for bills due to go out and haven’t got a penny to my name! Why I am I soo flipping stupid and naive to believe that if I just keep going keep putting another fiver on I can win, and as u put that fiver on you think u won’t miss it until it adds up and then ur left with nothing. Right now I feel like this will be me forever I just don’t feel like I’ve got control over it. They really should make gambling illegal or something because it is ruining people’s lives!! I don’t know where to turn now. I feel so stupid and very angry and upset with myself I let it take over again 🙁

[p]

Relapse is common in addiction but you can choose to learn from the experience.. i am very experienced in the relapsing field unfortunately but i think the main thing is to not give up. To keep trying. Keep starting fresh and persevering. If you fall down, get back up, i know its hard, each relapse for me got harder… can you try a gamblers anonymous meeting? The more support you get the better.. keep trying, dont give up on giving up

P

[Author]

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