[HopefulQuitter]

So… I have been reading here for about two weeks now. I started after I began the worst slide in my gambling history. (“Began” is the key word being that the “slide” has continued all the way through this morning.)

I am thirty-seven years old and ABSOLUTELY love betting on sports. I have an amazing wife and two kids (eleven and nine). My wife ABSOLUTELY despises gambling. I fell hard about five years ago and binged on a credit card (behind-the-scenes) to the tune of eight thousand dollars. When she found out we fought our first serious war. As a result, I promised that I would never do it again and, so far, in her eyes I haven’t. (Well… It is no secret. You all know why I’m here.) If she were to find out what I’ve been doing and see the amount of money that has come and gone I can guarantee we would be headed for divorce. I LOVE MY WIFE AND KIDS AND DEFINITELY DON’T WANT THAT.

I make pretty good money ($100,000+) and am teetering on taking a new job that will pay quite a bit more ($150,000++) in the next month or so. We live comfortably but, like most, have payments (home, car, etc.). My wife pays very close attention to the finances and, for the most part, handles everything. Well, everything except my private, personal bank account which was started solely for gambling purposes and the credit card I use exclusively for depositing into my online account(s).

The private account has has held quite a bit of money ($15,000+) at times while the credit card has carried a heavy balance ($12,000+). Only once I have I paid the card off in its entirety and that was a few days ago. I now stand at a bank account with less than $200.00 and a credit card that I recently ran up to $500. Here lies my problem… That’s right, a measly $300! This $300 has struck more fear into me than any bet I have ever made. Why? Because in the past I would simply deposit another $500 into my online account with hopes of catching my losses. (For the record, I have a very good track record when it comes to chasing but with my recent “slide” I don’t trust myself. If I fail on the first attempt it will, undoubtedly, lead me down the path to another $10,000+ credit card balance. Furthermore, I kind of don’t want to do this anymore.

Like many of you gambling changes me. When I win I am the most fun person to be around. When I lose I am “gloom-and-doom”. The fact that I have been able to hide my gambling life for so long has been impressive considering the huge swings but, at the same time, it has been excruciatingly exhausting. Truth be told, I am a great liar. Probably one of the best you will ever meet (but not happy to admit it). Maybe that explains why I have been such a successful salesman (although I am completely honest when it comes to business).

Quite frankly, I am telling myself “GO AHEAD JUST PUT $500 IN. YOU WILL CATCH THAT $300!” but the other part of me is telling me, “THIS IS YOUR TIME! QUIT! QUIT RIGHT NOW! FIGHT THE URGE!”

I don’t know how I will be able to watch any baseball, hockey, football or soccer without having the urge to bet something but I’m sure as heck going to try.

One thing, for sure, is that every decision I have made in my life has lead me to typing this message for all of you to read. Bottom line is that I want to hang out with all of you for a while. Maybe it will help! I hope so.

Thank you for reading and I look forward to all of your interaction(s).

[velvet]

<

Hello HQ and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[velvet]

<

Hello HQ and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[HopefulQuitter]

This is the longest I have gone without placing a bet in a very long time. According the time between my initial post and now I am one day and nine hours free. You know, this doesn’t seem like much but I, kind of, feel like it is a mini victory (so far).

Though I have been bored for a good portion of the past three hours I am still going to refrain. The next twenty minutes or so are usually the toughest for me since that is when all of the west coast sports begin. Living on the east side of the U.S. I am always salivating to put money on west coast games because I can watch the games in their entirety.

The fight/push continues…

[HopefulQuitter]

I must admit, I feel a little silly stopping in here everyday and typing something but, at the same time, in an odd way, it makes me feel more accountable.

Last night wasn’t easy. Over the past two years I have turned into a LIVE bettor. This means that I bet on games as they are being played. So, for me, it is much, much tougher to watch a game/event without playing betting scenarios in my head.

For example, I was watching the Washington Capitals vs. the Pittsburgh Penguins last night. The score was Pittsburgh 3 to Washington 1 going into the last period. I felt like the game was destined for OVERTIME. In the past I would have thrown 250.00 or 500.00 on the +850 odds before the third period or right after it started (hoping to catch a few more dollars). Long story short, the Capitals went on to tie the game. I would have won 2125.00 or 4250.00.

I’m not going to lie. I was sick to my stomach and pist off because I knew that was coming. I guess I have to think about all the other times that I thought “I knew” something was coming but it never came.

So far, this has been a tough, jagged pill to swallow.

[theone12221]

Hey man, thanks for posting in my thread. I’m not a huge sportsbetter myself (although at the height of my binge gambling I managed to lost 5k on on ridiculous bets on sports I don’t even watch), but I totally get the “mind bet”. Similarly on other forms of gambling, you can become irrational and always think damn “if only I’d arrived a bit earlier, or if only I put it all on that number/colour I would have won $X” – it’s all in our mind. We were never going to bet anyway. Whenever we “mind bet” and it loses we just think phew that’s lucky, but we don’t remember those for long. Your addiction is the one talking to you to make you think “dude if you just bet there you could have won, you should come back to me and start winning money” – don’t listen to that voice.

If you haven’t already done so I highly recommend self-excluding yourself from all online/offline forms of gambling you’ve used (or have heard of) in the past. Especially in the initial few weeks after a gambling binge, the temptations will be extra strong and it just takes one moment of weakness, even when we’ve been feeling fine all other 23.5 hours of the day, to cause some major damage. Furthermore, if you have problems with passive betting or mind-betting, perhaps tone down the sports watching for a few weeks.

Good luck!

[HopefulQuitter]

Feeling very good tonight. Watched some hockey and baseball with no desire to wager.

Thank you for the message TheOne12221. I have not “self-excluded” from any online sites. How would you recommend doing something like that? I have read that there is software I could install but I don’t think I’m going to put that on my work computer. Anytime I install something our I.T. guys know/see it. Can I message my SportsBook and tell them to block me? Seems a bit weird but would they actually do it?

[theone12221]

Hey glad to hear you’re feeling upbeat. It’s very simple and shouldn’t take you too long! Any online casinos/sports betting sites you have an account with, just simply google the website name and “self-exclusion” – it should take you to their responsible gambling page which instructs you on how you can request to self-exclude yourself.

For most sites a simply email to their support team with your account details and stating you wish you self-exclude yourself due to a gambling problem is enough. Some of the sites will have a specific area on their site/program where you can self-exclude yourself. Some of the more stricter websites require you to then sign a self-exclusion letter (very easy, they send you the template, you just print, sign and scan it back them and tick the time frame – eg. 1, 2, 5 years).

I literally made a template message the other night. Followed the above procedure and self-excluded myself from 15-20 online casino/poker/sports betting sites in just one night. Took about an hour to get it all done! Really the feeling of security and that you’re actively doing something to stop gambling will help you a lot in your recovery. Trust me it’s not weird at all, all gambling websites have a dedicated policy and approach towards self-exclusion and they are generally very accepting of your requirements (they probably get 10s if not 100s of requests to close/self-exclude accounts daily) – it’s totally confidential and they all dealt with it very professionally. This includes land based casinos/bookies – they also handle self-exclusion very professionally and anonymously. Don’t be shy!

As for gambling blockers, the best ones are gamblock or betfilter (I personally used this one). You are correct it wouldn’t be appropriate to install on your work computer (hey, don’t gamble at work :P) but it’s great on any personal PCs or mobile devices you gamble from. Completely blocks all gambling websites where you actually can gamble, but leaves open recovery or support websites such as this one so you can still engage in the forums. Also blocks gambling related ads that pop up. It’s very non-intrusive and is quite “incognito” in that it doesn’t show itself so even if someone else used your device, you don’t have to worry about them finding out about it. It’s also almost impossible to uninstall without screwing up your computer registry (a great deterrent from trying to uninstall it).

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