[Nel]

I’m coming here with hope to stop gambling.  i’ve been at it for a very long time and it is slowly ruining me.  i obviously need help

[Nel]

I have been reading off and on on this site and it seems like it is helpful. im tired of my addiction and want it to stop.

[Nel]

lot’s of great advise and help is welcome

[dunc]

Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[Nel]

thank you

[Nel]

kind of lost for what to say, just sad, frustrated, embarrassed and exhausted of this. i’m in debt and have to pay a debt today, stressed about if i’m going to be able to.

[Nel]

i’m going to try to take another loan to pay a debt.
this is a very bad cycle i’m in.

[Steev]

Yes – getting into more and more debt and having to find ways of getting the money to stave off a bad situation.

Glad that you feel you can post on the forum. Would you like to say a bit more about yourself? I don’t feel we can be much help to you as we know so little!

[Nel]

I’ve been gambling for many, many years.  I go to bars and play video poker.  I use it to escape.  I’m up to eyeballs in debt and i have stopped in the past for weeks, months and sometimes years.   i have not really made a strong effort to stop lately.  I just keep trying to tell myself i can control it….. last night i did not.  lost a bundle, therefore the need to take yet another loan.    My life is otherwise good, i have a great job, wonderful partner and family.  I have alot to be grateful for.  But…. not gambling.  It is my go to.  I literally made a conscious decision yesterday to gamble… because “things have been going so well”. Really…. that’s such BS.    I told my partner i was going before hand.  I only tell her so much though… always leaving out the ugly details.  I have definitely lied to many about the details…but all my friends and family are aware that i have this ugly thing in my life…..   It’s so embarrassing, frustrating and exhausting.  I’m so tired of that part of who I am!!  It’s like I can only allow myself to be just so happy…. not completely.  It makes no sense really

[Rose1234]

If you have a great job, partner and family you must try to just focus on how lucky you are. There are so many people out there that don’t have good jobs or supportive family. I am not saying this in a critical way because I know compulsive gambling is such a strange sickness for us all on this site, but you sound as though you have the possibility of having a nice and stress free life. Try your best to choose that over gambling.

[i-did-it]

HI Nel,
Well done on making the decision to stop.
Do you have any barriers in place to make gambling more difficult? For me barriers are the only thing that stop me – I’m afraid my will power isn’t so good.
I Have gambling blockers on my internet devices as online gambling was my biggest downfall.
It definitely helps .
Have you attended any of groups on here. I also find these helpful .

Hope to meet you in a group soon.

[Nel]

yes, i did go to a group.  my first one today.  it was helpful.  my task now is to take some of the steps to manage my debt and stay connected to help.  i always feel like after i go a week or two that i can do it on my own… that is when i slip up the most.

[Nel]

i have a lot of work to do. just trying to get through the day and repair damage i did last night

[Nel]

i have had my partner keep my debit and credit cards as well as my checkbook. embarrassingly enough i always find my way around that and last night, i searched the house until i found a check. went back to the bar and cashed it to keep gambling. i was ravaging around to find it like a crazed animal. it was nuts. of course i had been drinking, which always contributes and escalates the madness. i was a mess!

[vera]

Good to meet you in the group earlier, Nel. We became suddenly disconnected! That seems to happen a lot lately.
Well done on looking for help.
Gambling takes everything from us, but only if we give it.
The good news is, we CAN live a G free life, one day at a time.
Stopping is easy. Staying stopped is difficult. That’s why we need support.
Due to it’s progressive nature, we can be quickly overwhelmed with debt and to escape the stress we gamble more and more.
Time to call a halt , Nel.
I wish you all the best in Recovery.
Life without the buzz will still go on.
Stay focused!

[Nel]

Vera, your words, support and ideas are so helpful.  Thank you for sharing it means alot.  At least I made it through today!  Hope all goes well with you also…. new year, new G free life.  I’m looking forward to more happiness, hoping that for you too!

[Anonymous]

Still focused and staying away from machines. So far it’s been ok, but i haven’t had much stress which helps. I had one moment of thinking about g… but worked through it. Hoping I will be that strong when it pops again in the future. Keep thinking in these terms… i used to be a gambler and my last day was Jan 15th. All i can do is keep trying, remembering life is soooo much better without it. I have a ton of debt, but know it took 25 years to get here… it may take me that long to get out of dept. Hope you’re all hanging in there through good and tough times. I really appreciate your stories and strength!

[i-did-it]

Hi Nel , if you make it through today you can make it through the tomorrow . Well done.

[Anonymous]

thank you for the encouragement. I made it through Monday and Tuesday. Tomorrow is another day, but i’m committed to remaining strong and g free!

[Anonymous]

thank you for the encouragement. I made it through Monday and Tuesday. Tomorrow is another day, but i’m committed to remaining strong and g free!

[Anonymous]

well… I made it 9 days, relapsed last night! feeling so stupid and ashamed!!!

[i-did-it]

Hi Nel ,
You made it to nine days.
That is an incredible achievement and great progress. Well done .
So you have had a slip. Most of us have had a slip.Identify what allowed the slip – what barrier wasn’t high enough?

Also try to identify what you were feeling before you made the decision to gamble.

Don’t beat yourself up Nel . Just get straight back on the wagon. You are doing brill . You have gambled once in ten days . How often did you gamble before joining here?
Progress not perfection.
That’s what we all want .
Keep strong my friend . We are all rooting for you .

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the support and reminders of the good. I was gambling at least once, if not twice a week…so I guess it’s progress. Someone mentioned on another post, that they would wish this addiction on anyone. That is for sure! I’ve tried to stay positive today. My mate is very frustrated and hurt, which i get! I hate disappointed them and myself… but tomorrow is another day. Yesterday is gone…looking back i know that i let myself grow more and more angry about something really small… this triggered my thoughts on g. I also started drinking, which never helps and unfortunately does not help my rationalizing mind! I need to recognize these times sooner and re-track my thoughts right away! URGH!

[Steev]

You have decided to stop.
You are in dialogue with your partner.
You know drink is a trigger for you.
You are posting here and in group.

Is there more you could be doing to create your new life as a non-gambler?

If your habit is in bars with video poker – have you identified places that don’t have gambling machines? Are you looking at other ways of spending leisure time away from bars? Are you in touch with any recovery groups? Is your partner getting any support from this site or from local groups?

It is really hard in the early days when our brains are wired to gambling and it only takes a nudge for us to go there. We have to almost re-wire our brains so that we have a different “go to” when we are triggered or stressed.

So don’t think that your life will be empty without gambling – it can be full with other “non gambling” activities and almost needs to be – so that you are not tempted when you have a free moment. Keep strong.

[vera]

We think our lives will be empty without gambling, Nel.
Gambling seems to fill a void.
That is an illusion. When we gamble, we withdraw from life. The type of withdrawal gambling brings, creates huge voids over the long term.
We end up empty in every area of our lives.
Stay in touch with reality by staying away from the illusion gambling leads us to.
Keep posting.

[Anonymous]

It’s difficult to understand how something like gambling can fill a void, but it sure has for me for a long time.  I always find a reason to justify it, even when I know it will bring nothing but misery after!  My partner has very little understanding of how difficult it is, and no she does not go places that will help her understand.  I have no room to complain, as I have done nothing beyond this site to seek help.  I no I need to get to a ga meeting, i know that can help… I’ve been in and out of counseling in my younger years.  It gots old to me, I wasn’t finding much good from it and I know what needs to be done anyway.   I don’t like focusing on the negatives… I’ve worked very hard at looking for the good, but it’s not easy when most people, media, etc are always perseverating on the bad.  I feel like when I’m in counseling that’s all you do.. dredge up all the old bad stuff.  To me, that doesn’t help.  talking here is the best thing i’ve found and i appreciate other’s perspectives and reminders… even the painful ones and the reminders about the difficulty of moving away from g and into a better life.   I know that I can do it and i believe and know life will continue to improve if I can find healthier things to do.   It’s late and I go to work soon, so i’m out for now.  Thanks again everyone… hearing from you means alot!  I will look for a ga meeting this week.

[Steev]

Hi Nel – you wrote: “I feel like when I’m in counseling that’s all you do.. dredge up all the old bad stuff.”  That may. be true – but it is better than creating more bad stuff by gambling!

I’m in the middle of a house move at the moment.  Before I started the place was a bit of a mess but I was getting by.  Right now it is chaos with stuff in different piles waiting to be sorted.  In a couple of weeks the whole place will be clear.

I think that is how counseling is – at first just the process of disturbing our current life is messy and chaotic, but eventually everything becomes clearer and we can see where we are going.

I write this because I think you need to give it time – just as you will need to give GA time (or here for that matter.)  There is no magic bullet to stopping gambling – it is a process and it will take time and effort on your part.

Well done on what you have achieved and I hope the GA meeting works well for you.

[Author]

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