[post_hoc]

Hi everyone
Came across this site by accident and had a look round and looks like exactly what i need.
It is finally time to face up to the fact i’m a compulsive gambler. From an early age i had gambling around me. My dad used to park me outside the bookies when i was young so he could have a bet, my mum used to send me down the arcade with £5 to get rid of me for an hour when i was a young teenager. Now i’m 26 and a mature student at university and gambling is starting to effect my uni work and my relationship with my girlfriend.
Like a few of the stories on here i have read so far, i too work in a betting shop. I work there part time that fits around my uni course. I love my job, i love the regular customers, i love the flexibility of my shifts, and i love the extra income i have to be able to treat myself named brands rather then basis like my uni housemates.
I have always enjoyed roulette, the excitement of where that little ball is going to land. I remember when i was 19 being introduced to it in the bookies. Of course the first time i played i won. So of course i was hooked.
I have phases when my want to play it comes and goes. But recently it has come and not gone away. I lost £120 in a betting shop, then went the casino and won it back, then came home and lost it plus £200 more on the internet. I felt sick and vowed never to play again….. but then in the morning i thought i’d just have another £40 to try and win it back…… then another £40…. then £60 etc… I ended up missing uni that day because i was too depressed about how much money i had lost.
My girlfriend knows that i used to have a problem like this when we first met. I would brag that i won £200 and take her out for a nice meal. But when things got serious between us and she confronted me about it i confessed that i had some debt that had been ignoring which was partly to do with gambling (about £3000) She helped me sort my life out back then and i managed to clear that debt, but now i feel like im going back down that path.
This morning before i started work i lost another £150. Then i was in a foul mood all day at work, knowing that what i was earning wasn’t even enough to cover what i had just lost. I came home and decided that enough was enough and looked online for help. I have excluded myself from all my on line accounts. I have told the staff in the bookies in town not to let me play the machines (cant self exclude because of my job) and will exclude myself from the casino next time i’m over that way.
I don’t want to gamble any more. My life will be so much better without this gremlin on my back. I hate betraying my girlfriend. I want to change.
Thanks for reading.

[Author]

Posts