[Freedom4me]

Hello all! I am a compulsive gambler and my last bet was November 18th 2015.

First of all sorry for my English, a) i am typing this post using my phone b)English isn’t my 1st language!

So I was in the chat room 3 weeks ago and someone told me to share my story here, to keep a journal, we will se how it goes, no promises just want to share with others how my recovery is going on, mayve this post helps someone!

Lets start from the beginning, I started to gamble when I was 15 years old, i got a friend who was able to place bets in the betting shop, even though he was under 18, he intreduced me to it, and straight away I was hooked, i don’t believe it was his fault that I started gambling as I believe I was born as compulsive person, i used to love playing cards when I was a kid, make deals with my friends etc. I remember the day I first went to bookies, I loved it even before I placed my first bet! I didn’t start with large amounts they did grow quickly, as I was working after school everyday in my Family company I was making pretty decent money for a 15/16 years old. I started loosing it, so I started to steal from my fathers wallet, as he is alkoholic it was pretty easy to do as he didin’t remember how much money does he have. Also I started to pawn some of my mothers yewellery and when she found out i told her about gambling problem, she didn’t tell my father and bought out all of it, after this I did the same I think more than 10 times! When I was 18 my dad catched me stealing from him, i runned away from home to my grandmother, I was a student with no income living with my grandmother who gave me everything she had, and I still gambled, when I turned 18 I celebrated my birthday in Casino. In that period I lied to everyone, i stole from everyone, i was owning money to everyone! Given all this I still managed to get a girlfriend, I moved to her house and lived there i stole from her, she did found out eventually but still stayed with me! When I was 19 my aunt died which made me loose my head totally and to gamble even harder… after a month of hardcore stealing and gambling I decided to move to UK, as I was thinking in my head that it is not me but everything that is around me what makes me gamble! So I went to live to london i got a job and continued to gamble, i took out payday loans, and after one year I stole rent money from my house mates i had to run away, so I came back to my country, back to my grandmother. I was 21 and stopped for 4 months as I didn’t have any money, i started making websites, and started my own business, i started to make money, and I started to gamble again, this time I was gambling my own money, i got back with my girlfriend with who I broke up when I left UK. We where living with my grandmother and I was gambling all my income + payday loans, my business started to grow, i was making more money so in 2013 i decided that I have gambling problem and I need to stop, i was 22 at this point, i managed not to gamble for 8 months using my willpower, quit smoking and started to go to gym! In these months I made huge progress with my own business, paid off all debts, got a flat for me and my girlfriend. I wasn’t doing anythin else beyond using my willpower not to gamble. So one night I went out with my friend and got drunk, and guess what I was back in the casino, and i was back for another 4 months where I gambled away my savings took out loans, and lost all the money that i had in my company bank accounts…. i stoped again in November of 2014 when was 23, i managed to do it again for 8 months, got my finances back together. This time I went to my friends house for a poker night, and again it all begun for 4 months where I was gambling everyday on everything – betting, casino, online casino. This was all last year in 2015. On 18th of November I was sitting at a slot machine and wanted to leave but I couldn’t I was able to do it only when I have lost all my money and didn’t have a place where to get more. So I stoped again, got back to work as november and December are the busiest months for my business. On January i got my self in the 30day Minesota program. I started to attend GA meetings, i still do it twice a week! So now I am gamble free for 303 which is nearly 10 months, i really want to get to 10 months but nothing is given I only know that i will not gamble today! During these 303 days I managed to grow my business, buy a brand new car, get a cat, be honest and helping person, and I will be a dad in one month! I am helping my grandmother and I have made peace with my dad! This is all thanks to GA as I proven that I am unable to stop and change using my willpower!

So i hope that my story inspires someone, i probably not intentionally have left something out, but this is my story….

Thank you all for keeping up the good work with the community and spreading the word about compulsive gambling!

[low-life]

Well done mate for keeping it in control! Sadly for people like me I can,t stop and stay in control when I,am chasing but good on you for being mentally strong

[charles]

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Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[charles]

Hi Freedom, thank you for posting and congratulations on your gamble free time.

I have every confidence you will get to that 10 months and further. Just keep it one day at a time. Whilst gamble free time is great the important bet is no longer our last one – it’s our next one we all have to avoid. Sticking with whatever support works for us helps us do that.

I hope you keep posting and I look forward to hearing your progress in both recovery and fatherhood.

It will be an important time for you, babies bring a lot fo joy of course but they also bring stress, sleepless nights, expense… so whilst it will be a busy time for you make sure you stick with those meetings, even if you might have to drop it to one a week!

Balance in recovery. Hopefully see you in a group again as well..

Again, thanks for posting.

[Author]

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