[JayDee]

Hi,

I’m 23 now and started gambling when I was 18. Well I say that that’s when I could gamble in casinos and bookmakers. I’ve played fruit machines etc since I was about 11.

I’ve had to some personal big losses in the time of being a gambler from 18. Thousands no, hundreds yes but was it more than I could afford? Absolutely.

Last year I stopped gambling after getting sick of it. I stopped for a few months just like that.

Fast forward a few months and I was gambling again. A few nights out and I found myself playing online blackjack. I’d lose, -‘d win back what I’d lost. (What’s the point). Then come the moment I was expecting I lost 1600 in a night. I’d worried myself and rang my mother for support. I felt good but the day after I was gambling again and lost another 800. I was horrified. I think on reflection I was glad I lost it, I was expecting it. The push I needed if you will.

This time I was honest with my partner and my mother. Both were so supportive and that right there is lucky. I know many people will not have that support network. I went to therapy which helped and I was feeling good.

Fast forward another few months and I start having a few flutters and it seemed I couldn’t lose. I must have won about 600 pound in a few months. No long sessions of gambling just wining money and walking away. I now however have realised how serious this was.

In a few weeks I’ve lost those winnings. I’ve realised it’s not about the cash I win, it’s that feeling of risk im bothered about. I haven’t lost more than afford but I feel the problems coming back. I want to live the life of no worry, I can’t gamble, I can’t be trusted.

I find I’m on this battle by myself and so just want to share my problem here. My biggest struggle is coming to terms with what I’ve lost. I obsess over it and it’s not healthy I just need to let go and really need advice and help with this.

[charles]

Hello JayDee and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[charles]

Hi JayDee, well done on looking for help.

I hope you are reading some of the otehr threads here. You will have seen a lot of stories similar to your own. You will also have seen the success stories – what are they doing that you can apply to your own situation?

What barriers can you put in place? You have been honest wiht your mum and partner, now they can help you with accountability so that you can’t gamble secretly. Get yoruself excluded from your local/usual gamlbing establishments, get a blocker for your PC to stop online gambling.

Plan your gamble free time so that both your time and thoughts are filled with other things.

Most importantly use support. You haev this site, maybe check out your local GA mneetign as well. If we could do it on our own then none of us would be here.

Keep posting.

[Author]

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