[charles]

I know the  Christmas period can be hard for some, it can put a lot of pressure on people and cause a lot of stress – and that’s for the general population not just Compulsive Gamblers and their families!

 For me though Christmas is massive in my recovery; it really highlights the difference between how things are now and how things were when I gambled.

 When I was gambling I was single and would be staying at my mums, either because I was unemployed or because I had a few days off work over Christmas.  Presents would depend on how my luck was running in the run up to Christmas – most years that meant cheap chocolates and socks for my loved ones!  All bought on Christmas Eve of course.

 

We would usually have Christmas lunch at my brother’s house.  While dinner was in the oven a lot of us would pop down the pub for a drink.  In those days of course I had what could be described as a “convenient bladder” – I had to nip to the loo any time it looked like a round of drinks needed buying!

 Then it would be lunch, all the family sat around the table.  All of them knowing that I was in the **** and all of them knowing I would be planning to have a big punt the next day to try and get myself out of it. My mum would be worried sick. The rest of my family would be avoiding the subject, trying to get through the day without an argument or upsetting mum.  I would be just sat there wondering what the problem was – after all I was going to win a fortune the next day wasn’t I?  In reality, no.   On the odd occasion that I did manage to win my way out of a hole then I’d just start digging another hole, after all I’m a Compulsive gambler, it’s what we do.

 THIS Christmas.  Well I will be at my brother’s again, nowadays it’s with my wife and dog.  My mum is in a care home now so I will be staying at my brother’s house.

 Most of the presents are already bought, the rest soon will be.  Nothing expensive but thought has gone into them.  We are staying a few days so no doubt we will pop down to the pub at some stage.  These days my bladder really is getting worse lol but I will be first to the bar to buy a round. 

 There will be a dozen or so of us sat at the Christmas table, It will be my second lunch of the day; the first will be with my mum at her care home.  There will be lots of food, knowing my sister in law she will have catered for about 30, and plenty of drinks, for those that do (I don’t).  We will then play some silly games, charades probably, a giant game of Jenga, that’s sort of stuff.  Games that kids from 5 to 85 can enjoy. 

 I’m not religious so to sum it up Christmas for me now is what it should always have been – a time when most of the family aren’t working and can get together at the same time.

 Boxing Day, in the past a big day in my gambling year.  My brother will have a bet, no reason why he shouldn’t as he isn’t an addict, good luck to him.  He does know not to discuss his bets with me though, nor will he tell me about his wins/losses.

 I already have my Boxing Day planned.  More food!  I will get up early and take my dog for a walk, later my wife and I will also take her down to the beach for a couple of hours – she loves it running around with other dogs and chasing the seagulls.  I love watching her and by then I will definitely need the exercise (all that food lol)  I will time my trip to the beach for when my brother will be watching his races and return to join him watching a football match later.  If he has a bet on that match then I won’t know about it.

 The day after Boxing Day we will be driving home.  Probably with some of the left over food in the car!  New years Eve will probably be quiet, we tend to stay at home, particularly now we have a dog with all the fireworks going off etc

 Did you spot the difference between now and then?  Not difficult.  Which is why Christmas is so big in my recovery

 It won’t be perfect.  My mum is ill, at 86 that is a worry, as I said at the beginning the sort of stuff that happens at Christmases across the country whether they are gamblers or otherwise.  It will however be immeasurably better than the Christmases I had when I was in action.

 If you are new here and/or struggling well you can get a lot of support here and elsewhere.  There is no magic wand though and it’s less than 3 weeks till Christmas.  Likely it’s not going to be a good one.  What you do now though will determine how future Christmases will be for you.  By doing whatever it takes to stop gambling and by focussing on your recovery future Christmases can, like mine, be a hell of a lot better than this one.  Don’t try and do it on your own though – if that worked then none of us would be here.

 Merry Christmas everyone.

[lizbeth4]

Charles, thanks for your great post!!! My past Christmases were made of using credit to purchase gifts and the food as I would have used all of the cash to gamble. It was a stressful time not a joyful one spent with family. Now being gamble free, I have already purchased the gifts and decorated. I have planned and purchased almost everything for Christmas dinner. I am looking forward to spending time with my family! What a big difference!!!

[female g]

I can’t say that my Christmas pasts have ever been less than perfect, at least for my family. Maybe not for me because I knew I struggled with gambling for so long. I refused to let it affect the family. I fought a lonely battle with myself for the most part.
This year will be better for me and that feels good. I could spend more than I am in fact but I have no need to over compensate anymore.
I will not gamble and I will have a nice week away with just my hubby this holiday season and will be able to pay for anything we want on this trip because I saved up my tips and made a lot in extra cash that the casino will get none of .How happy am I . 🙂 I’m going to make it to 2 months without gambling Christmas day and that is a great gift I will give to myself and to my wonderful husband. Thanks Charles for your support over the past 6 months. xoxoFG

[vera]

Recovery seems to have brought lots of changes into your life, Charles . All for the better. Thank God!
Different types of CGs are affected in different ways, I think. For example “action gamblers” would be planning either a live race meeting or a day in the bookies on St Stephen’s Day (Boxing Day). I know people who go to race meetings that day as a social event. It would be the most boring event on earth for me. I wouldn’t dream of going! For casino/slot machine gamblers , however things would be different. Also it depends on gender and relationship status. Single women or men who have no family ties could allow Christmas to go over their heads in a casino if they choose. In my case, Christmas is one time of year when I know I won’t gamble. I mean 24th, 25th and 26th. I am always too busy cooking (Or giving orders re cooking!)Opening presents . Tidying up or nagging others to do so lol! I have a long journey to the church on 24th and 25h so I’m usually whacked after that. I have to chase up and collect my sons on Christmas Eve . They don’t drive so I really would not have time or energy to plan/arrange a gambling trip. I usually have all available money spent on presents I love buying them . As far as I know casinos close here on Christmas Day (Maybe not this year but I won’t be making enquiries) When my youngest son goes through his bad moods, it would be tempting to escape but this year I have a plan should any thing happen…
It’s in the aftermath of Christmas , when they all leave and a bit of money reappears that I could easily slip away alone “to check out the sales ” Men find shops boring. LOL…..
That is my danger time!
Especially this year.
AWARENESS, awareness, a w a r e n e s s

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