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Hello All,
I hope you are well and farther along than I am. I have not been on the forum for a while, when I first joined the forum a few years back I made good progress and saw an incredible difference in my life but I never really quit for long and went back to the old ways. I was just fooling myself doing the same thing over and over.. gamble all my money away, freak out, get payday loans to cover the bills, get far behind on bills, pay it all off after a few paychecks, say NEVER AGAIN but then the next day I start the cycle all over again hoping to hit it big so all my trouble go away. funny thing is that sometimes I did hit a big win but it still wasn’t good enough and I put it all back into the casino, i always got this irrational feeling like I did not deserve to win. Anyway, it’s been about 8 years that I’ve been in the constant cycle of digging a hole and trying to get out of it while still making the hole even deeper. I maxed all of my credit cards and have a few loans that all ended up going to gambling or covering bills because of gambling. I’m past the end of my rope, I have chest pains just thinking about it all and what a mess I made of myself.
So i guess this is step one again admitting I have a huge gambling addiction, I’m going to add one of the casino block programs to my computer. I know I can get around them but it at the very least will remind me that I need to stop. It’s been about 30min since my last bet and so i hope that I will continue to take the right path, read others posts for motivation and try to keep a log of my honest progress on this site. Plus it’s pretty easy date to remember, i hope years from now i can say.. my last bet was on 11/11/11 😉
Thanks for reading… we’ll see how this goes
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