[Clarity]

[Anonymous]

So I have decided at last to change my horrible username .. I am no longer xxxxx!

So I have fallen off the wagon and was feeling so low … But Harry changed my name and here I am smiling at the phone like an eejit. My new name is more me …hope u like it !!

Do u know who I am??

[vera]

Welcome back Sad!

[I_Maverick]

Hey happy good to see you. Great new name.

[Liberty]

made me smile, it is a great name 🙂

[Anonymous]

a dreadful start to the day .. I completely forgot about the eclipse ..I was gambling ..
How many experiences has gambling cost me .
But think I am back on the wagon.
Spent half the day on helpline and in the groups .
I am feeling positive . Have a gambling block installed ..

Life is looking up . I cooked a nice dinner (a guilt dinner)
I have a fridge full of food.
Haven’t damaged my family too much

Got just about enough money to get by I think. Might have to do without car for a week .(repairs!!)
I am shocked that I managed to gamble over 700 this month and still scrape though.
It has really hit me where I could be financially .
It had really motivated me also .

God is good !! I will be ok !!

[lizbeth4]

Hi Sad, I love your new name! It does fit you. Stay positive and motivated.

[Anonymous]

Thank u Lizbeth for your post !!
I am going to try post everyday … Need to build new habits into my life to replace the old one ..
Slept in til mid -day.
All that late night gambling taking its toll.
Urges gone today – wishing I hadn’t acted on them . I would be able to go into town and buy new things and have coffee in a nice bookshop. …instead I am lying in bed late with a guilty conscience.

Have a party tonight , but there will be no new party clothes or hair-do! The gambling took care of that cash!!

However pay day is getting nearer… Payday kinda clears my stress and my guilt ..
I am determined to save en emergency fund so I will start that on payday . Its a horrible feeling not to have a little behind u ..
Money is security ..

Slips teach us something ..i come on here,i listen to advice but sometimes it seems i have to learn every single lesson for myself the hard way . How many times has Charles said just avoid the next bet ..I agreed with him of course but my latest slip has driven it home..I never really bought into. “Avoid the next bet”
There is no next bet for me .one bet leads to disaster .
Next time my brain plays out the scenario where I gamble but I have control… I will remind it that if I had control I would not be in this mess, or need this support .

The horrible feeling has subsided somewhat.
However I am conscious as I plan for tonight’s party that the old feeling of inferiority is stirring within me . That one that gambling brings .. The kind Of feeling which usually causes me to gulp down two glasses Of wine really fast so I can so i can relax ..

I have blown my peace of mind , my contentment .
I also realise that for me personally , having enough money is central to my happiness !!

[vera]

Having enough money can also be the ruination of a CG, Happy!
As CGs of course, we will never have enough. I’m reversing my thinking. Looking at all the things that don’t cost money. I agree totally that money does bring some security into our lives but it can’t buy love or true peace or freedom! It often gives us a false security .
If I lashed down two glasses of wine I wouln’t be going to any party! lol!

[Anonymous]

Hi Vera , thank you for me post

I think that having enough money is the reward for not gambling for a CG.
A CG in action will never have money !!!

[vera]

Great poem,Happy!
You do have the will and the way!!

[p]

I have always wanted for you to change that name.. well done.. and well done on being honest, getting back on the wagon so to speak and continuing on.. you are worth it and i just know you can do this.. everyones journey is different and whatever works to stop you relapsing i hope you find… whatever way that is it doesnt matter so long as you stop.. it took me six years to stop relapsing and i dont know if its my last but i hope so.. with all my heart..
Im proud of you for your attitude.. for your determination. You are still a wonderful mother.. you are still a good person its just we have a crazy addiction that grabs hold.. use the same amount of effort in your recovery as you would to gamble.. you can do this my happy friend.. we are all with you

P

[Fritz]

Hi Happy,
Gambling tries to rob you of confidence and self worth, but it is not the truth, it is just a mirage. Feel good about yourself, look at all the positives, count up all of your blessings, tell yourself you are great, because you are! Then go to your party and take it all in, be in the moment, enjoy the experience, listen and share from your heart. Don’t forget deep breathing! It helps so much to relax. When I deep breath, I repeat a positive phrase to myself, like “I am so blessed”, or “Life is good!” or “I am getting better every day”. Anything that feels right to you. Take care.

[monique]

I love it that you have changed your name! It doesn’t mean you have to be ‘jolly’ all the time, but that you can have a deep-down contentment that lasts no matter what the external ups and downs of life – at least that’s my way of seeing ‘happy’.
Yes, I think money can be dangerous, as Vera says, but it is also able to give a sense of stability and reward, when you manage to control its use, so that it gives you and your family things to keep and enjoy, rather than being ‘wasted’. And, as Vera also notes, there are lots of things in life which don’t cost money but can be enjoyed and valued too.
Most of all, value yourself – don’t put yourself down, give yourself credit for picking yourself up and moving forward again.
Stay ‘happy’.

Monique

[adamblazerfan]

I’m new here. Just read your post and it really hit close to heart for me. I have been on an epic gambling binge for the past 9 months or so with periods of no gambling and a sincere desire to quit. But however hard I seem to try it is not enough on my own. So instead of waxing on too much now, I will just say I am thankful to have found this online support group and look forward to sharing more.

[Anonymous]

Thank you Vera , Fritz, P and Monique
Today I am going to make sure I have no bank cards available .. Strangely for a CG I am safe with cash.. I have never allowed myself to go to a casino where I live. I associate it with huge shame so I have never went that first time.. So when payday comes I will withdraw spending money for the month and make sure all cards are unavailable.

I have always had enough money in life . I went from a comfortable home to a good career . I was very comfortable financially until I became addicted to gambling .
I therefore am going to disagree with the myth ” the best things in life are free”
You can only access the joy o these things when you are not stressed out about the lack of money . A nice walk along the beach is free so Long as you can afford the £20 to get you there by bus or car, So long as you have been able to afford comfortable shoes for walking , so long as you have been able to quell the anxiety over money for long enough to plan it .

I don’t believe we need excess money to be happy , but without adequate it very difficult to find that joy in free things .
Maybe this is a lesson I was meant to learn .. I don’t know … Even sitting in your house watching a movie is great when you have heAt, electricity and a tv licence ..

Money is freedom. It gives you the security to enjoy life … And it is the first thing that gambling takes from us ..lack of money cause all kinds of problems .. Money is the root of all evil.. Not necessarily having too much … It could just as easily be having too little !

[vera]

When I say the best things in Life are free, Happy,of course I am not denying that it costs money to live.As we progress in Life/Recovery,maybe we will learn how to re define “Live”!
Do we really need all the gadgets,entertainment,clothes, holidays, meals out, lavish hair dos creams, make up material possessions etc etc etc? They may give us a feelgood sense for a short while but they will not buy happiness. Life seems to be all about money these days!
I just walked around the garden. Three daffodils are in bloom. Others are peeping out at me.The rhubarb is beginning to sprout.The leaves I barrowed a few days ago are sitting on the compost heap waiting to compress, the birds are singing and it is all free!
I know I can’t pay bills with that freedom,Happy but if we settle for a simple G FREE life we will be far better off eventually.
The biggest price I paid for gambling was health.I need to find a few free cures!! Maybe walking could be one,for a start!
“Life is in a mess, but all is well!”

[Anonymous]

Hi Vera , I’m not big into possessions but yes the hair dos , make up , meals out lift me more that any plant peeking from the ground .. Sorry but that’s me .
Of course I have the best and most rewarding job ever and today was one of those days when smiling faces made me happier than any amount of money … But there is an expected level of grooming !!

It’s life !! Lot costs money !!!

J

[p]

Hey i am proud of you, you are here and you are posting honestly and you are doing something for your recovery today.. I hope to see you round in group again soon for a chat

P

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