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Today wasn’t that great of a day. I didn’t go to work. I slept in. I am an emotional wreck. My use to be fiance is hanging on by a thread. I have really ruined my life. It was so easy to get to where I am today. Now it seems like I will never get back to where I use to be. I been on this downward spiral for a long time. Im trying to hang on to what I have left. Trying to repair my relationship. I can not lose this girl. She’s everything a man looks for on a partner, soul mate. She’s absolutely amazing! I feel like my whole world came crashing down on me so fast. I have so many what ifs. I feel so scared and alone. I can and will get through this!