[irishbjj]

Hi to all forum users, new to this site but impressed so far.
I’m back in square one after almost 8 years free of betting. Started back on 1st March as a one off and since then have backed every weekend. I am not doing financial damage, but my thinking has reverted right back to before, the " what’s the odds on that " mentality on absolutely everything.
I was betting yesterday and the urges are so strong and the rush to the chest of adrenaline just takes me over. Then because it’s so powerful it makes you want to experience it again seconds later. It’s a scary thought that something like two animals jumping a fence together can send a buzz right through the system.
Having been in GA, but often getting bored, I think I need to approach it differently and get a sponsor to support me – I’m thinking that although I’ve been off betting I haven’t worked a programme. I have everything I need, kids , wife, house, but I also sometimes hate the boredom of life and then I seek it through betting.
I’m annoyed, anxious and frustrated, but one day without a bet is a success, and I just need to focus on today.
Good to be here.
Paul

[janey]

Hi Paul, A Warm Welcome to Gambling Therapy
Having found us you have also found a diverse community who can help and support you on your recovery journey.
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and non-judgemental environment and by reading others stories am sure you will see that you are very much not alone in this addiction
Please click here to see our services page, feel free to use all that this site can offer…
To chat with others in real time you may wish to make use of the support groups, the ***** of these groups are advertised under "What’s on and When" or click here to see the weekly group schedule.
For one to one chat you may want to try the live advice helpline. Click "connect" when these options become available.
Also to say when you registered we would have sent you an email with an attachment, this attachment will help you navigate the site and find the support you so rightly deserve, alternatively this guide can be downloaded by clicking here.  
Take Care
The Gambling Therapy Team
 

[cat438]

Hi Paul, sorry to hear that you gambled after nearly 8 years clean, but glad that you are reaching out to get back into recovery. I am thinking that you will know what you need to do to put barriers in place.  As you mentioned it may help you to get a sponsor through GA to get you back on the right road.  We are all in the same boat here – taking it one day at a time.  Keep posting and reading as it does help to get the support from others.   One day at a time my sweet lord…

[p]

Nice to meet you in chat Irish
P

[sherrie]

I like you. I echo what P said, it’s been good to meet you in chat. I think you have a great sense of humour. I’m sorry that you relapsed cos I hate to think of anyone struggling but I think it’s good for this community that you have joined cos I can tell you’re a good egg.
Sherrie
xoxoxox

[kathryn]

Hi Paul , thanks for reminding me that no matter how long the clean time is, I must always keep up my awareness against this addiction. Thank you for sharing your story. K ***

[vera]

No shame in coming back and trying a new style, Paul!
So long as we are willing to begin again! (Gets weary though when you’re a "regular beginner"!)

[irishbjj]

Thanks all for the kind words.
It was suggested that I update this thread as a type of diary so I can monitor progress ( or not!!! )
So here goes –
Had a bet on Wed night from a free offer for opening the account. It won, but I lost emotionally. Withdrew the money and am in process of self exclusion from the site. I also excluded myself from 2 other sites I had accounts with. Would have played poker but Linda called me for bed and I went straight away before temptation over took me.
Yesterday – got a GA meeting in at lunchtime, got a lot from it even though I was debating going to the bookies at the start of the meeting to have a 1 hour blast of betting on everything to get urge out of me. Felt good that I didn’t. Kids were staying at their friends for a sleepover so me and Linda went for meal atb630, cinema at 9.15
Had a good evening, though I was conscious there was football on tv that I was wanted to have a bet on to sort of give me an interest – that sounds like I have no interest in my wife’s company, but that just is not the case. Anyhow, stayed away, had a lovely night, day off today and going for a walk down the pier here in Dun Laoghaire in Dublin for a scenic afternoon away from all temptation.
Have a good day all 😉

[vera]

All sounds like "normal" living!
Can’t beat Dunlaoghaire or Howth pier for a stroll and maybe a "one and one" in the chipper!
Went for a walk along the River Dodder myself today with a friend, then had a lovely meal cooked by her hubby and watched the DVD of their daughters wedding at Christmas.
The more time I spend gambling , the more out of touch I become with reality . When I go into non gambling venues,I feel like a zombie from outer space or a fish out of water. It takes me ***** to adjust. I feel I don’t belong.
Scary when you dwell on the long term effects of gambling. Bit like **** addiction, but we all have a choice to opt for the normal lifestyle.
I can’t get Izzi’s poem out of my mind. I found it riveting. Look it up!
CGs always lose emotionally, and spiritually and psychologically and its always glossed over by money loss because the Financial loss is the thing we can see.
Here’s to a win! Here’s to Recovery!

[irishbjj]

Played poker last night 🙁
Have cancelled credit card today and sent all my money to my wife’s acc.
I’m a ****ing idiot.

[vera]

Does wife know you gambled?

[thewizefox]

apply to gordon ***** for a check up, it will get you away from gambling to prevent you from further relapse, i will give you a lot more tools than ga, and make you understand ways to stay away in future , well done for 8 years free gambling , i only wish for that sort of time i will get there but it remains a tough task at presentNo regrets, past is the past, the future i can change.

[Author]

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