[andrew_35]

Hi there people,
I have a bit of a problem with the machines in the bookies. It actally started in a casino when a friend took me there after a night out about four years ago. We played black jack and roulette and had a great night with me winning £80, having played fruit machines in my youth and hadn’t gambled for nearly fithteen years i suddenly had the bug. I returned nearly every night on my own after that for nearly three monthes, i won most of the time and started to have plenty of extra cash in my pocket and really enjoyed buying stuff with what felt like easy money. I then really got into the roullette and actally started to think i could make a living out of it!! Obviously i started to bet more and more and obviously eventally started to loose, i than began to chase my losses. I spent all my  money and savings and maxed out my credit card by taking cash out of the wall. At that point i was also gambling in the bookies on the roulette machines and eventally just played those only as it was obviolusly much easier as you dont hve to look far for a bookies. I gambled for about a year and a half, i would only do £100 spins loosing £1000’s over that time, the worst part is as we know you can also win big ,and was always chasing the big wins, even when i did i would put it all back and more, somtiemes on the same day. Its such a ****ed up situattion! you know in the back of your mind that you can possibly win like £800 in ten minutes! it was such a pull. I would swear that i would stop, but the next day or when i had money i would be back to pump it in the machine.
I was desperate to stop and tried and failed constantly. Eventally i did. Now i am not very religious but somebody i know was going through a serious situation, this is going to sound wacky but i prayed for them and made a agreemaet to god/spirit/uiverse or whatever you choose to call it that if it could be resolved i would quit gambling. The situation was resolved almost imediatly! i then gave up, i totally got it out of my system, i did miss it and would sometimes fantizise about winning loads of money and hitting all my numbers. I went 18 monthes withouta bet. But unfortuatley i started again in april this year. I am not as bad but its still bad, i spend all my money on it, i again spent my savings ,which i actally need  to pay somebody back who i owe money to, i  also have to pay my tax in january too, i also get paid in advance for my work and have spent that, i am supposed to going on holiday in december and need to pay for as i my girlfriend does not know about any of this and its for her birthday, christmas is coming and work will be dead for me. 
What a mess, at the begining of the year i had written a financial plan that i had stuck to until april. I just got this thought in my head that i could win a bit and walk, unfortunatley i cant walk even when i am up. I know its not about the money, its about the buzz and its about escaping.
I really need to stop and i know i can, nobody knows i do this, i mean nobody, So i suppose i am looking for some form of support to help. Somewhere in my brain i still think i can make money and walk, even though i know i cant.
Thanks

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