Hi Erekle
Firstly,well done for coming to this forum to get help. You really are not alone and suicide is not the answer. This addition is all consuming and progressive and whilst it is up and running it will push us to self destructon. The first important thing is that you really must have a desire to stop gambling, and then you must self exclude from all of the sites you play on. Betfilter or a free blocker I hear, although have not used it, is K9. Have you stopped gambling erekle?
The second is that you cannot quit without support. The forums here are very supportive, it is a helpful community with facilitated new members groups and chat groups where you can gain Support from other gambling addicts who are in recovery. The key thing is that even if we are in a deep hole, we will never dig ourselves out of it if we keep digging the hole deeper. Remember, compulsive gamblers never win. Every win goes back and more. Once we have crossed the line we cannot stop.
Do you have a form of income? That is a real plus once we stop. Is there any organisation like GA in Georgia or local support you are able to get? This could be counselling or therapy? It sounds like the accident was a trigger event for you to start on slots. Harmless fun becomes funless harm.
Is it really possible that your wife and family don’t know? Why can’t you tell them? You will never get your money back if you continue to gamble. The big win won’t happen. The money spent has gone .It will just take and take and take.
We have all been where you are. It takes time to heal but we have to stop making it worse. Many have lost more than you mention. Is this now your rock bottom erekle? There is help here.
There are a number of gambling gaddicts on here who have also been driven to thoughts of suicide, including me. I cannot stress enough now that is not the answer. You have a wife and family and a 2 Year daughter. They need you erekle and they need you to get on top of the addiction. It would destroy their lives for the rest of their lives if you were to take the easy way out. Recovery is the way out, the only way. It will take time to heal but it is so worth it. Keep posting.