How do you do Vera? 🙂 Yes I remember I replied to your journal and shared the Al Pacino’s motivational speech from one of his movies. Nice if the speech inspired you!
I would not classify myself as a CG but as a problem gambler definitely. I know when to stop before it’s really really too late but still I allow gambling to do a big damage to me before I stop.
Right now I’m doing good I hope I continue like this. This is my 2nd week gambling free, my emotions are back I’m feeling like a human being again! Last week I was feeling literally numb i.e. feeling nothing. I’m glad to feel alive again. I feel like my brain chemistry got balanced and I’m ready to start enjoying the life like a non-gambler person! With this being said surviving the first week without gambling is crucial! Then it keeps getting better and better and easier and easier. Let me know if you agree on this with me! 🙂
New weekend is coming I believe this will be the decisive weekend. If I stay gambling free the upcoming weekend my confidence will skyrocket and I will definitely remain gambling free till the end of the year (part 1 of my gambling free mission). Part 2 is from 2017 on.
No worries I will keep posting at least once or twice every week until 2017. I will post in 2017 as well but these 3 months until 2017 are crucial for me. I know I fucked up this year pretty much but it doesn’t have to end as it started – with gambling! 9 months of uncontrolled gambling with end result huge lesson and altered perception about gambling for life + 3 months gambling free = good ending of the year! I think it was my destiny to happen like this. 1 year of gambling hell in exchange for life lesson and gambling free for the rest of my life. Sounds like a good deal to me I took it! 🙂
In summary: I’m feeling good, my gambling scars are healing, my full focus now is work, I sleep like a baby (no more staying late in the night until last game for the day is finished) and I’m learning to enjoy my free time even to feel bored at times because that’s part of life. Everything in life is better than gambling!
Thanks Vera and everyone else for following my story. It’s a story where 1 individual is fighting back and proving to the world (I hope) that yes, gambling addiction can be defeated, gambling free life can be lead and it is perfectly fine to watch sports without having an urge to bet or feeling obliged to place a bet because that’s not my job! No one’s job should be to bet and gamble!
Fully agreed with your last sentence: “Awareness is the key.” I would add letting the past go as well. What’s been in the past remains there and it can’t be changed but what can be changed is the future and the very present moment we live. Sure I will not forget or ignore my gambling past but will let it to rest in peace!!!