I can’t express myself and be who I am. My opinions and views aren’t valued. My Mother was never supportive like a parent. I had to ask a cousin for help when I startedl my period and asked her all the questions I had. I made sure I was there for my little Sister. When I was molested by a family member when I was 12 years old, I told my Mother and she told me to be quiet. To this day she denies ever knowing that I was molested. My Sister knows because she was there when I told,my Mother. I went to great lengths as a child to make sure my little Sister was never alone with the molester. Last year when I started having flash backs of my molestation and horrible nightmares, my Sister was the one who calmed me and validated my feelings. She thanked me for all of the protection that I gave her growing up, not just from the molester but also from alcoholic, mean, stepfathers. My Mother thinks this is normal and that we had a great childhood. My brother is a heroin addict and has no contact with the family. My Sister had a drinking problem but got help. She’s been married repeatedly and prefers men who are 18-20 years older than herself. A father figure. Then there’s me, a CG who can’t get herself together. A frightened, hurt little girl who just wanted love and reassurance as a child. Maybe that’s why I’m so sensitive. I know it’s a long process and journey in recovery. I do believe in a higher power. I wouldn t be here if I didn’t.
