I think its taken me at least 5 years of trying, to finally get to the stage where I can actually stop an overwhelming feeling of great stress or anger turning into a gambling urge. The sad thing is I knew as much 5 years ago as I do now, I chose to ignore what I knew then.
I read a post of yours on another thread where you say you can’t bring yourself to tell your partner, and you wanted people to be straight with you.
For what its worth I would think carefully about this, you will notice as you read threads a lot of people decide not to tell their partners, these are usually the people who regularly have relapses, I know the people who seem to have been gamble free for the longest are generally the ones who have been honest with their loved ones. Not in every case but I would think it the vast majority.
I’ve gambled quite a few times in the 5 years I’ve used this site but there are others who have used this site longer and have been gamble free since before I came here I can’t think of one who hasn’t shared their recovery with their partner. Honesty, I think, has to be first and foremost if you wish to progress.
With regards to my own gambling, like the many others who have gambled since using this site. It wouldn’t have happened if I had implemented the barriers or boundaries others had suggested. The embarrassing things that at first make you feel like a 5 year old, but then as gamble free time and money accumulate, you realise what a smart move it is. Like handing over control of your finances, carrying minimal cash, getting your partner to install blocking software so you don’t know the password.
Just remember that for years you’ve made your own decisions and look at the mess you’re in.
I think that although everyones recovery is personal to them, recovery is only ever hard because the individual makes it hard. It dosn’t have to be hard, its a simple as getting through just one day. One day can seem impossible but you know as well as me it’s quite possible.
I dont gamble now, but if I did do. I’d bet you wished you’d never asked. 🙂