Wow thank you for the support. Your encouraging words and confident statements really did make me feel a little better.
Since my original post a few days ago, I’ve made a few steps in the right direction. I ended up telling my husband about blowing my most recent paycheck and being flat broke. I explained my addiction was truly probably 10x worse than I’ve admitted in the past. I was so scared to tell him but I was SHOCKED when he reacted when nothing but support and love and saying we’d get through it all together, as a team. I think he is honestly just happy that I am being 100% honest now. We sat down and figured out a budget and decided that all of my paychecks will be deposited into his account Account for now. I will still be responsible for actually paying the bills but I do all of that online and he will monitor to make sure every bill is paid. I’ve never been into the online gambling thing so I thankfully have no worries there.
However, I did feel extremely sad and guilty on Monday because i ended up having to return a few Christmas presents that I bought for my son. I needed gas money to get to work. But at least I didn’t use the cash to gamble in hopes of making a little extra before next paycheck. I feel so ashamed that I am fortunate to be a top earner in my company yet I’m returning a 4 year olds toys to get myself to work.
That’s all for now but thank you again for the support!