Wonderful post kpat, thanks. I wonder if you kept the business.
I feel worse now I have stopped gambling. I am turning into a pathetic wreck. Instead of being fired up by the changes I need to turn my life around, I am weighed down by my mistakes, my failures. The dreams I had feel like dust. All I can see is the devastation I have wreaked. How all my thoughts were of playing a stupid game, losing more time and money. And now, instead of helpful around the house I wallow in self pity. My wife is no seeing a song about it 😉
I don’t know where to turn. This is not me. All I know is that the meds might or might not be working. I prevaricate, procrastinate, am lazy, feeling low. I just want all these feelings to go away. I know if I play poker they go away for a while if I win, but come back if I lose. And then I feel worse, so I know I have to stay away from gambling as that is more self destruction.
I have so much to do if I am to close the office in an orderly way, but I feel overwhelmed with sadness for the hurt I have caused, the time lost. I need to move on but I don’t know how.
I love you all and am very scared.