What time is the group that Charles will be in? I used to tell my brother a little of the gambling thing when he lived with us, but now well I don’t want to mess him up in any way! He has come so far!! I used to walk every single night with my dog for 7 years. Then last year when my dad had his heart attack, and then the next month my older brother was killed in a truck accident, and left behind his wife- my sister in law who had terminal leukemia- well I spent 9 months caring for all 3 of those issues and totally lost the walking each day!! These are issues I still deal with too right now, loosing my brother last year and my sis-in-law in Feb… I was her care giver for 8 months, was able to kind of keep gambling at bay most of last year due to all the tradgidy… But now being alone so much while hubby works, my brother gone, my sis gone too and the pain of that sometimes is unbearable! For 8 months I took my sis-in-law everywhere she wanted to go, beach, mountains, visiting, eating anywhere… Ironically she saw a billboard for the casino and a singing group that was coming and she wanted to go. So I actually took her, not to group but to gamble…I wasn’t into it much then, too much going on.. I felt awful having her there- in my place where I had issues and her smiling and playing $5 for the whole day and me thinking of the massive money I wasted there and the larger machines I play, so we didn’t go there more- THANK goodness!! I cared for her until she passed away right beside our room the morning of Feb.10th.. She was in a coma at the end, hospice was so wonderful- her nurse was and still is our friend forever! But the pain of loosing them, it really is hard!! I will say it contributes to my problem, it is NOT the problem- I was a CG long before all that!! I remember maybe 6 years ago or so, I went to gamble with a friend and I won $60, but I kept playing. That person told me way back then, You have a problem… Of course I didn’t think I did!! Now I know better, no longer do I play $60, that is like a penny compared to how it escalated to amounts too sickening to think of! Anyway, I’m rambling.. Just so many thoughts all the time, and finally a place to express them!!! Hugs to you Vera
