It’s up to you. But I would advise caution because then it will probably look like you’re blaming him.
Which relates to the whole “owning” the gambling thing.
It is an unhealthy addiction that you never asked for, But you have it, the consequences of your actions, whilst under the gambling addictions power are yours to sort out. That’s where the owning thing comes in I think.
It is already part of you I’m afraid.
I know that I thought there’d never be a time I did think of gambling everyday, it used to ouze out of every pore in my body, my whole life for near enough 36 years was just saturated with gambling and gambling thoughts.
I promise you I havnt even considered gambling once this year. (Well I actually played the lottery in January and Feb, I think I done it 3 weeks out of four and I do regret it).
I think we will always be prone to it. However with ongoing support the thought for me have subsided. I firmly believe, and I know in my case, that it’s important to talk about all of life’s issues. I try not to let things build up in my head. By talking about things as quickly as possible I have less to dwell on, less to escape from, or run away from.
I have found counselling to be a valuable part of my recovery.
I don’t mean just talking about big problems, I talk about nearly everything. I have been accused many times of taking recovery too seriousley, in my own mind I do not think it’s possible to take recovery too seriousley.
As much as I truly believe we just have to concern ourselves with getting through today. I don’t ever want that gambling back in my life, but I do believe I have a gambling addiction and I accept that my addiction belongs to me, I own it. As much as I accept that if it ever were to become active again, for whatever reason, I have the consequences to deal with.
In my life I have had some very severe consequences to deal with. In my earlier years I would run away as far as possible from the chaotic consequences of my gambling sometimes estranging myself from my family for months on end. At least when I was in prison they knew where I was.
Debt is a big consequence of gambling for nearly ever CG. I do not know the true extent of my debt I’m afraid but I know I’m not going to be able to pay it all off in my lifetime.
Unless I got a bankers bonus and lived to be 150 years old and worked until the day I died.
Thinking about it I wouldn’t get sidetracked when telling your partner, by telling what triggered you to gamble in March. After all that’s what you believe, (and I do think you’re probably right), but that might have just been the straw that broke the camel’s back.
I would tell him you’ve been seeking help, and are actively involved in getting support. Just be careful about telling him that you post on here. His curiosity might lead him to looking, and whereas I am a big advocate of him knowing about your problem, without arming himself with a knowledge of how this addiction works he mightn’t be able to accept how sucidal you were, and, in his eyes. He may well think you’re just blaming him as an excuse.
Some people believe CGs have the gambling in their genes, others think it is s learned behaviour and can therefore be un-learned. I don’t know which it is, and I’m not bothered. It dosnt change the fact of the matter. I am a compulsive gambler and I can not ever gamble, for me finding out how it all started is not as important as finding out how to stop it.
I know I won’t gamble today, just like yesterday. I’ll deal with tomorrow when it gets here.
I don’t know if this post will make sense, I’ve written a bit of it at every delivery through the night so mightn’t read fluently.
I havnt got time to read it back this is my busy time of day.
Take care Tina. And good luck I hope it lo goes well for you.