It really dosn’t matter why we gamble, or what we get out of it, you could go crazy trying to put your finger on it. The bottom line is we are addicts it has never ever done any of us any good what so ever.
The important thing is that we stop.
As a compulsive gambler, gambling becomes the “norm” a “normal” life gradually becomes alien to us. We need to reverse this distorted existence in which we live as compulsive gamblers to kick the addiction in to touch.
My advice Seri would be not to worry so much as to why you do it, but what you can do to make it easier for yourself to stop. Not self excluding at least from your local bookies is keeping the door to gambling wide open. It has never done you any good..go and exclude tomorrow, take someone with you if you don’t feel strong enough.
Believe me you will be walking out of that bookies a winner when you come out with that self exclusion.