Well done on posting that I did it. Did you manage to tidy your room?
Well done on being honest about those gambling thoughts as well. Also on running the tape forward and knowing that NO, whilst it might provide a temporary relief, any “hour playing machines” would just end up like it has in the past – being a lot longer and a lot more expensive than intended.
At meetings we often see what is known as a “honeymoon period.” People come to meetings, the pain is still relatively fresh, they feel really good about finally being able to stop, see the immediate benefits etc etc All is good.
Then it may be a few weeks later, it may be a few months later, that pain has faded a bit, the initial elation dies away as well and life is….. well life is “normal”. What happens then? That’s when the urges can creep back in.
Maybe that’s what’s happening here?
How are you filling your gamble free time? You have talked about self improvement, what thigns are you looking to improve? How are you planning to do that?
Abstinence is important of course, what we do then though is what recovery is all about.
I hope you managed to get out of bed and tidy your room, let us know how it went.