Welcome to the forum KC. Your first post could be a line in the sand. No more gambling. We have said that to ourselves many times. Truth is when we are in the middle of this addiction we can’t seem to stop ourselves. No win is big enough. We are addicted to the thrill of winning. Not the money that we take out. When we stop winning we chase that feeling. When we lose all our money chasing the feeling we then chase our losses trying to get them back. We cannot control ourselves!!
You have been brave in the past and told your wife and parents. You have been lucky that your wife continually forgave you. But there will come a day where she won’t. Where your gambling will cost her something she truly wants like a child. Or you won’t be able to provide for your child the way she would like. We really hurt the ones we love.
Kathryn is right! I too took the advice when I stopped gambling to give finances to someone I trusted to take care of. I was given a daily allowance for lunch etc. I had to provide receipts for purchases to show where any other requested money went. Such as gas or grocery shopping.
I also told family members NOT to lend me money. I chose to tell my sisters that I had a gambling problem and that was why I didn’t want any money. Because I would gamble it!! Or use it to cover my gambling tracks!!
You can have a good future. But you have to decide that you will put every effort into outsmarting your gambling brain. Because when it decides it wants to gamble if you haven’t taken measures it is hard to argue with it. It will tell you that you can win again just one more time. And the cycle will continue.
Find yourself some support. An addictions counselor, a Gamblers Anonymous group, the facilitated group chats here. It takes a lot to beat this. But your new life is worth the fight!
Keep posting.
take care,
Laura