I am sitting on the train travelling to Newcastle from London, absolutely dripping wet after having tripped up at Kings Cross and landing belly up in about half an inch of water. It’s been that sort of week; on Wednesday evening after work I went to the cashpoint and withdrew £40 walked away tucking my card back safely in my pocket only to realise I hadn’t taken my cash!!! What a plonker. C’est la vie!! It’s not always a bed of roses once you’ve given up gambling but it is always a lot better.
I finished reading Allen Carrs book The Easy Way To Stop Gambling and must admit I am really pleased I have done. At first I was sceptical about his approach, but I think by reading it when I did, after a lengthy period without gambling, I was much more capable of understanding it. I can honestly say I havn’t gambled or had an urge to since I finished it. Fair enough I hadn’t gambled for several months before I read it but I did come close to gambling during those months.
The big difference I think between the Easy way method and any other I’ve come across is that you make a vow to yourself never to gamble again. Ever. I know that such a commitment is frowned upon at GA and by most of us here. Personally ODAAT I think is a big enough commitment but then aren’t we leaving the door open or saying to ourselves, “Its okay to gamble, just not today” in other words giving ourselves the go-ahead to gamble at some stage in the future? Please don’t get me wrong I’m not changing my philosophy when it comes to my own recovery. However, although I will still take each day as it comes, by having read the explanations given in this book as to how gambling can become to seem to be the norm. I can really think about things in a way I never had before and I do see myself as a non-gambler not a CG in recovery. Is that such a bad thing?
It doesn’t mean I think I’m “cured” and it doesn’t mean I think I’m infallible and I will still continue the way I have been, plenty of talking to people and not letting my problems build up. But at the same time I do feel completely liberated from gambling, I feel free of it, and that feeling has been with me since I finished reading The Easy Way To Stop Gambling. It’s a much better feeling than “just for today I feel free, but tomorrow might be a bad day and I might feel like gambling, I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it” always living with a niggling doubt that it’s possible that gambling, or my addiction, is just waiting to pounce.
I think however we approach our addiction, and wherever we source help, we are all united in a common goal to live our lives gambling free. I remain open to change, the thoughts I’ve shared in this post contrast greatly from thoughts and opinions I’ve previously shared on this forum.
Still sitting here soaking wet 2 hrs into my train journey…once upon a time that would have been a great excuse to postpone my weekend away…
We can all change,