Velvet thank you for your post and I do appreciate that you took the time to post. I have been dealing with hubby’s drinking for years and I think to some extent it may have been part of the reason that I ended up going to the Casino. In the evening he comes home from work and drinks. He has stopped drinking hard liquor and now it is just beer. He limits himself by only buying 8 or 10 cans a night. He would call me some evenings on my way home from work if I had been at a meeting asking me to pick up more beer. I told him that I will no longer pick up beer for him which he now accepts. I thought it was an interesting question you asked.. did I ever have a drink with him. The answer is NO. I am a social drinker and it is few and far between that I drink a glass of wine. He was not really a drinker either, sure when we were younger we would go out at weekends, but then we had kids and we would go out sometimes, but drinking was not the main focus. I realize now that I let him treat me very badly when he was drunk, meaning he was verbally abusive when he drank hard liquor. We had a bit of a blow out about 5 years ago. We were at a cabin for the weekend and he was totally drunk. His sister and her husband were there as well. After that I told him that I was not going to be around if this is what life was going to be like with him. We were talking about retiring and I think I just panicked that this was going to be my life in retirement. He stopped drinking hard liquor and went to beer. I think the long and the short of it is that I am angry at him for the way he treated me, which I allowed for years, when he was drunk. I now wish that I had done something sooner, but I cant change the past. We are getting closer to retiring and I do find myself not looking forward to it with his drinking. He is a functioning alcoholic as he works full time and also does renovations around the house.
I have for years been saying that I want to go to Al Anon, but have not done anything about it. I have suggested that he go to AA but he said he could not do that. I suppose to some degree I am burying my head in the sand and not dealing with it. It is unusual for me to even post all this so that is progress. I know that gambling is not the answer, but I now understand that going to the Casino and playing slots was like a numbing feeling for me to escape his drinking and any stress that I had in my life. I know gambling is not the answer, but I still have to be aware that I do want to run and play slots to escape. One day at a time. I do not plan on gambling today!!!
