Velvet
Thank you so much for your advice and reply I really appreciate it I read it a while ago but couldn’t reply my phone wasn’t showing a reply option for some reason. We managed to get through Christmas positively for the sake of the kids and my husband really tried but he is struggling its so obvious. I do follow advice which I was given years ago when this all started about looking after myself and the kids, focusing on things other than gambling and being positive. I am good at all these things but deep down I am worried about how things are going to be next week next month etc. As it stands at the minute I have told my husband I am not bailing him out financially this time as I have done so before and it hasn’t helped. I’ve told him that he needs to continue to pay our mortgage and bills as normal and if he can’t pay his gambling debts he can default on them even if it adversely affects his credit as these are the natural consequences of his actions and I can’t protect him from that. I am on maternity leave and therefore not in a financial position to bail him out even if I wanted to. But I know he’s borrowing from peter to pay Paul so to speak every month and I feel like my demands are maybe making it worse? However we need the money to survive and I’ve borrowed thousands upon thousands in the past to help him and am scared that if I do it again the resentment of taking from my kids and myself to pay for his problem that he chose notuto get help with over and over again when he had the chance will eat me up inside and I won’t be able to function and as I pointed out to him I am the only person my kids can truly rely on at the minute there is nobody else. Sorry for ranting on but the bottom line is I am very concerned about the right thing to do in this situation and would really appreciate some advice from someone with experience / knowledge. I think my instincts to protect my kids and myself are correct but at the same time I don’t want to be responsible for him having a breakdown or something. I know he needs professional help but I really question whether he has the maturity. I’ve tried a couple of times to use the online helpline of this site but had no luck.. wondering if there is a telephone helpline I could use or what is the best way to ask for advice on this?? I always seem to have my hands full with the baby / kids but am anxious to speak to someone to get things clear in my head before speaking to my husband.
Thank you so much again. Roisin xx
