[c21]

I also made contact with my towns help for gamblers. Its cost me another 2-3000 pounds but hey better late than ever ey? I am so unsure about my future now I hav no clue. I try and cope by remembering that I have little ones that need me around and old ones that are dependant that I keep sane. Even though so much is lost I have some comfort in that those b…rs are not getting any more of my money. At the same time I am empty inside. I am empty. I am suposed to look forward to the future and I view it like I don´t want tomorrow to show up at all its to painful. But I do know it starts with a day at the time and i will start to live that way as its the only way forward from here.