So here we go day 2 of when i can honestly say no gambling, my tablets reduced by 2 yesterday so taken 16 instead of the 18 the day before! which granted is a lot still but at least its improvement instead of getting worse, my weight currently 18stone 4lb and i have started dieting today. Im going to live my life properly and after i have things in order and i have a relatively clean slate i’m going to live an honest and true life with no lying no sneaking no watching my back no being unreliable and lying about where i was or where i am. the energy drinks are going to be reduced fom 4-6 per day and i’m going to sleep properly instead of staying up all hours trying to find things i can do to put right the shit i’ve caused myself and everyone else! but mostly i’m going to find a way to move on and forgive myself i can’t do anthing about what i’ve done but i can do something about what i am going to do, i have a blank page and it’s me that writes the next chapter!
Luckily i have just earned promotion to Project Manager at work which is something i really happy about but i’ve already missed time off through trying to put my mistakes right trying to sell things to get money back i’ve lost.
I know the aditional things i’ve put on thier to relatively new gambling addicts they will be thinking what’s all the drug addiction and overeating etc got to do with gambling adiction. Hopefully it won’t become apparent to new gambling adicts that your life becomes out of control in more than just a financial sense you take on a completely new persona and your a completely different person and do things you wouldn’t normally you are on a mission to self destruct and if you are addicted to gambling or anything else there’s a good chance you could become addicted to anything!
Looking back everything i have ever done has become an obsession boxing, fitness, football, paperwork, computer games, work, food! the only difference is some of the obsessions are good and some of them can destroy your life like gambling, tablets, energy drinks, diet pills, wasting money and even i believe i have an addiction to sorting out mess when i’ve created and firefighting it’s a high to get out of trouble.
But i have to change and i will change onwards and upwards for the Pheonix on day two!