I joined 3 last night. Only played on two. The reason I played on two was because the first one I set a deposit limit. The second was because I set a deposit limit. But because I was doing it sneakily. My partner saw me get my debit card out the second time and I new he would guess I was gambling if I did it third time, so I didn’t deposit. I felt like he was looking out the corner of his eye. So then I looked for a site that accepts paypal. Couldn’t find one that I had already excluded myself from. Had my partner not been home.. God knows what I would have done.. I’ve self excluded from the two I played on. I can’t remember the third site to self exclude from. I just wish I was excluded from all of them.
I tell you what though. I posted my own topic on hear and I already feel such relief from this pain. How about you? Are u as bad as me? Do u feel a bit better?
I do hope u stop. Here’s a warning. I don’t even get a buzz anymore. And yet I still do it. It’s now an utter compulsion. Never gives me pleasure anymore. That’s why I’m on here now. I know deep with in my gut that I need support with this. I’m too ashamed to tell my loved ones. I’ve hid it so well. My partner wondered why I had no money last month and I lied. I told him that I reduced my overdraft which left me short. So he ended up PROUD of me. So the guilt is hitting me hard too.
