I felt very disturb and betrayed when my role models in recovery relapse or make mistake one by one in my early recovery. I believe in them, how can they still drink and gamble when they talk about staying alcohol and gambling free ? I felt cheated by what I see.
Today I understand that this is a one day at a time program, no one promise staying alcohol and gambling free forever, this apply to everyone.
Whoever fall today just have to pick himself or herself up the next day and start to stay alcohol and gambling free one day at a time again. This is how it work!
This is a lifetime journey, the program continues.
When I was new, I could not see they are human. Like me, they are not perfect.
I have not met a perfect Christian too.
I am making the same mistakes now. This was a path everyone in recovery have to walk.
There is hope. Life does become more bearable now.
I am not perfect, this why I need Christ and recovery to find the freedom, peace and joy I want.