Thank you both for your support which I need so badly right now! I’m in a dark place. I thought of calling for support/help last night as I didn’t care if I lived or died. But I made it through. I functioned on a low level today. Financially, it can’t get any worse. The last 2 gambling episodes were not great loses but ruined my budget. I’m behind on bills and playing catch up and keeping others at bay. Little is left over. I’ve done this to myself and it makes me very, very sad, stressed and down. Not having A.C. for a week has compounded everything. I’m tired and drained. Not feeling like myself at all. Forget going to my DR for any help as she is on medical leave. My yearly physical is going to be late as I have to wait till mid September to see her. Velvet, a part of me is dead. I don’t look at things the same. I’m very cynical now. It’s sad! How could anyone care or love someone so pathetic? That’s how I see myself. I’ve let numerous people down and not been there fully. I know I’m a addict bit honestly, that’s no excuse. Im so tired!!
