[jansdad]

Thanks vera and kpat. Day #49 today. The urges haven’t gone away, but I’m trying to keep busy and not pay too much attention to them.
You’re right kpat, even if I won it wouldn’t be worth it, I know it and I’ve been telling myself that. And no, i don’t want to live through day one again. i know what it took to get to day #49 and how many times I just barely made it.

I’m not even sure I could do it again. So what i’ve got (even though it’s only been 7 weeks) is way too precious for me to give up for a temporary thrill.

But it is scary, that just when I started thinking I’m getting the hang of it, the urges returned and I feel somewhat insecure.