That’s lovely re the scarf, butterflies, infinity, freedom and transformation is what butterflies represent and funnily enough my Ayurvedic Dosha is Vata which is described as butterfly like. Difficult to sit or stand still in life and on a daily basis. I have bought myself a few things and that is great and one of the benefits of recovery particularly when gambling I bought myself very little as it all went I to the slots. Whilst that is important it isn’t the be all and end all. I seek purpose and would love to have my life purpose revealed, as even after all the spirituality and searching within all my life I haven’t a clue. In a shamanic course I did many years ago, we did life purpose and I got primarily to love myself and then to love others. Could it really be that simple?
Well I now have hot water yea. Engineer said it had gotten too hot and tripped out. hmmmm, sounds like me. There are many things to buy for the house, new bed and hoover but have decided to wait until next job materialises. The aim is not going to claim benefits this time round, I really don’t want to.
Have hard elsewhere if a few relapses and it is odd how they all seem to come at the same time. I too have been triggered and sitting alone in my house is a bit of one but I am going to seek,out,other things to do, and one of them is to get in shape, gently at first. I have around a stone to lose. I find the inner battle that manifested when I was on holiday reducing. The obsessive thought that keep coming into my mind are a hangover from the gambling habit when it seems like jappymsays are the red and the green head. Those two heads seem to stay with us, I would prefer just the one happy head….and heart.
