Thanks geordie and p.
Yes, geordie, life can be good or not so good, but one thing is sure – gambling will always make it worse. I need to keep repeating that to myself. On bad days I used to gamble more, to try and escape or at least postpone any problems or difficulties I might have been facing. Dumb and unintuitive thing to do in hindsight.
and you’re right p, about ongoing support. i’m almost positive i would have gone back to gambling had it not been for this forum. i’m actually surprised i’ve come this far. on at least 5 different occasions I was ready to give in, it’s a minor miracle i didn’t. instead i would come here and read or post.
I told my wife about this forum today. I didn’t connect it to my huge recent losses (oct-dec), neither did I mention the losses. The poor woman has no idea how close we could be to being homeless. Or probably not homeless, but how radically and how rapidly our life would change if I went on gambling.
She thinks this forum is just an intellectual exercise for me, and I don’t have the heart to tell her that this could possibly be my last, our last straw.
It scares me that I had to borrow money to pay bills. I haven’t done that in 20 years. I already paid the money back plus the vig, but it’s not the point. I was on my way to sinking far lower.
I don’t need gambling. That’s right geordie.