Thanks geordie and charles. I love the “just because the monkeys off your back, don’t mean the circus has left town” phrase. Never heard it before, but it is awesome as it is amusing and true.
You’re right geordie, it wasn’t a slip. Well as a matter of fact it depends a great deal on how we define “a slip”, but in my book it wasn’t a slip.
I should have seen it coming while having a dinner at that place last saturday. I had already made my mind to go and check the game after the dinner and as I was finishing the dinner I started fidgeting. I felt the adrenaline rushing through my head and I wanted to get there as quickly as possible. I tried to keep calm, I even went to the john slowly, washed my hands slowly, dried my hands slowly trying to remain cool, but I knew deep down that I was going to gamble. I knew I wasn’t gonna wait patiently for good cards, I knew I wasn’t gonna play only for 2 hours and then leave no matter what.
I did it to myself, it was no slip, it was planned and premeditated. And if I’m 100% honest i probably even knew there would be a good chance I would try and chase that money later online should I lose in the live cash game.
Anyway trying to keep busy now and get my life back in good shape. I know I cannot do it in one day, but every day that I’m productive is a small step towards that big goal.