No worries. Not always easy to gauge where we are all coming from. We live andlearn. Today I have made some decisions. I am no longer going to piss around in the emotional murk of the Steps. It is doing me no favours at all. Today I have
Made contact with Step Change. Because of the inland revenue debt, there has been a change and stepchange can no longer deal with it. Although I waited 40 minutes to be connected I spoke to the business debt line who have to be contacted if there are inland revenue debts. They were very helpful around a number of issues. Apparently, I am classed as a vulnerable person…. I have a way forward and it is bankruptcy except I cannot afford it. They were pretty appalled at the lack of any movement forward from my housing association. There is one complexity. Bankruptcy means that all rent arrears are put into that and that possibly means eviction so have to check with that. They said I might need an advocate because the debts are so big and there are a lot of them. But unfortunately there does not seem to be anyone who can act as an advocate. I have three things to do and then call them again. I also just stopped being done for having no tv license as all my payments bounced when I had my last big relapse. I foun d the Christian talk yesterday on failure very motivating. It was like it was talking to me and I just happened to switch to it when going through channels. The lord works in mysterious ways. The anger I felt has all but gone. Must have been storing up that anger for years. None of this is easy and serves as a constant reminder of how low I have sunk in the economic scheme of things. But I am pressing ahead with what I have to do one step at a time.
My daughter texted and will get a coach to her on Thursday this week.
I spoke to Andrea who says I am on the short list for the women’s programme and will hear in early December.
I am going to move forward. Where I am is really crap but it won’t last forever. Nothing does….