Yes, I have heard of Reiters. If I had not gambled I would be very well off and living a completely different life to the one I have now. I came out of poverty and homelessness and it took me decades to do it. I was very driven to do that and I succeeded earning five figures monthly. And I threw it all away. All of it. A part of me really cannot understand why but another part kind of knows why. It was from the loneliness I felt, where there was none to share feelings with, a world in which where there was no hugs for years. I was watching a Christian programme on learning from failure and it was very inspiring. It was about not letting that failure define you, i.e. Not giving up. The thing that concerns me about stepping back Into the world is that I am still somewhat unwell in my stomach and am also carrying with me a type of exhaustion and tiredness. I must, however, find a job as soon things such as electricity and internet will get cut off. I cannot afford to pay any bills after the rent, arrears and bedroom tax. Here In my bedroom I can withdraw from the world. I really do not care for it. But I will very soon need to get back and engage with it. It is a question of survival.
