1) My girlfriend knows about my struggles. She knows I’m a sick gambler. Been with her for 5+ years and out of those 5+ years she knows about my problem since the 2nd year we were together. I never tried to hide my addiction from her! Back then I didn’t know I was a sick addict, now I know and that’s my strongest weapon! Many times I would place a bet and go out with her and check the score of the game all the time on my mobile phone = ruined night! We’ve fought many times and she threatened to leave me but she never did because she said she trusts in me that I can beat this addiction. Unfortunately she is clueless and has no idea how this addiction works. It’s not that easy as she thinks! I remember one time I tried to introduce her to the world of gambling but she never fell for it. However, she did place a few bets while being with me which I find interesting haha . Anyway I like that she is a non-gambler because in a relationship between 2 gamblers it is extremely difficult to quit gambling. I’m the gambler in this relationship and on my way to become happy non-gambler again, like I used 13-14 years ago when I was a kid!!!!!!!
2) Yes that’s a very good idea. My gf wanted to control my finances 1 and a half year ago because she was seeing that I was suffering and losing money. I told her I can do this on my own. Of course didn’t do it because I wanted to gambleeeeee and become professional sports bettor! From this perspective and all I went through this year I realize I was mesmerized by the gambling illusion! Not anymore. 2016 is the decisive year where I made huge progress like never before, realized I have a problem, came clean to myself and my gf and now I’m in recovery. Still vulnerable due to recent relapses (each with less and less effect on me because my brain is getting into the right frame which is the non-gambling one!).
3) Yes, identify your triggers, they can be countless!! I’ll give you several examples: every time I would argue with my gf (not necessarily due to gambling) I will decide to “punish” her and gamble but in reality I was punishing myself and escaping from her madness caused by pms haha. Gambling was my heal, foolishly I thought. Reality was, gambling was my worst enemy!!! Can see that now, couldn’t back then!
Another example: work stress & asshole clients! :)) This resulted in me firing several “bullets” on live roulette and live blackjack. Later a few bullets on sports betting until the gambling drug overrode the stress feeling.
Third example: seeing some people from the past I didn’t want to see and would rather crack their skull! 🙂 This would result a few hours later in sports bets and live roulette.
As you see, triggers have no limits! They can be of any nature! This is how to recognize triggers: whenever something happens and you decide “I’m gonna go gamble now!” after that or urges to gamble appear after some incident or situation that’s your trigger. Triggers can also be: bad mood, anger, anxiety, boredom etc. When I recognize a trigger I say to myself “OK, what just happened was a trigger, but I’m a non-gambler now and won’t gamble!” or “This right now is my trigger. I’m smarter now, I know I have a gambling problem, I understand the gambling illusion and won’t fall for this trick for the 1000th time!!!”. Simply put, use positive approach and positive mindset. However, don’t force yourself not to gamble (exactly the opposite will happen = you will gamble), you must not gamble because you really don’t want to! Also do a reality check: if something has ended 1000 times with the same outcome, it will surely end the same way the 1001st time. I’m referring to that moment when you begin to chase losses or simply run into bad streak and lose everything! It’s just a matter of time before this happens! Could take a few minutes, a few hours, a few days, 1 week, 2 weeks, 1 month, 6 months, several years but it is going to happen for sure!
I hope I helped you with my thoughts and answers! 🙂
Btw I’m doing good and keep getting stronger and stronger. Have some money but won’t gamble. Don’t have any desire & more important I don’t want to! Time to get my s*it together and become the strong person I used to be! Time to take back control of my life!!!!!! I’m motivated as crazy and see the light at the end of the tunnel after gambling literally ever day this year until end of August. Minor relapses in September as part of the addiction fighting back, so far clean in October and to continue like this until 2017 and from there until the rest of my life!!
No one needs gambling in life! No one! Not even for fun and excitement! We don’t need 1 little shot of heroine for fun and excitement, do we? Then the same is valid for gambling – we don’t need it at all!!!!!!!