Thank you Vera! The secrecy issue is one that is really dragging me down at the moment and I feel so isolated. I am working on him to get him to open up to a select few to allow me to get the support I need! It’s really draining trying to keep up the pretence that all is well when I feeling I’m drowning inside! I am finding it difficult to detach myself emotionally from the situation – selfishly it keeps coming back to ‘what about me’! The worrying thing is that he doesn’t see that accruing that level of debt will impact on me – he keeps saying its money we never had and he’s never stolen from me or the household budget! The reality for me – and I’ve explained this to him – is that I’m responsible for picking up the tab on household bills whilst he sorts this out, I have to deal with the Instabilty that his actions have created, it’s down to me to make the choices of shoes / clothes for the kids over other things and the one that hurts the most is that financially I’ll be unlikely to afford to have another child (I’m fast approaching 40 & it’s gonna take years to sort this mess out).
I have taken advice on securing my personal finances, protecting my own position and I’m desparately trying not to be a victim or enabler. I love him dearly but it’s not going to be easy to move forward!
On a positive note – that you for sharing your thoughts and experiences & letting me know there is hope!