Thank you Vera! I needed that. I just got home from walking the dog. That is usually one of my times with God throughout the day. Except when gambling than my only time is “please give me my money back, I will never do this again.” Lies lies lies. Anyways I was yelling at God. Saying “I don’t want to live this way anymore” you won’t help me” just take me” I even said I hated him for creating me. I told him he treats me like a red headed step child and will not take this addiction from me. The devil was most likely grinning ear to ear while doing a happy dance. Fker!! Anyways came home read your post and down on my knees I went. Apologizing, asking for forgiveness and his help to get me back to me…. I am definitely not down playing the relapse because of the financial damage not being as much as usual. It hurts even when I win because you said it “ another nail in the coffin”. Anyways I am going to look at this as a lesson.. I did a form of gambling that is out of the ordinary with the same results… just goes to show …never bet on anything… I refuse to give up, giving up. I still have hope. Thank you!
