Thank you (((icandothis))) for your kind words. It’s taken me almost 3 years to get to where I’m at in recovery, and it’s been far from perfect, as I’ve had many slips. I’ve been an all or nothing person in my life, and I’ve hung on to progress not perfection, which has taken me this far. I have to agree with you that I am owning my own recovery more, as I started recovery using whatever what was happening in my life as excuses to slip. In all fairness to myself, I hadn’t developed all the coping skills I now have. Then when I slipped, I would tell myself progress not perfection and I would focus on that I had so many more gamble free days than slips, and that kept me going. I am at a point in my recovery now where if I were to slip, I have no excuse and it would be that I didn’t exercise the skills I have learned. I don’t want to be the person I was pre-recovery as I was a people pleaser/enabler. Gambling was a “reward” for me, as I wasn’t getting most of my emotional needs met in my marriage so I gambled to try and fill some of the void in my life. As compulsive gamblers, we all know what gambling has done and continues to do in our lives, when we slip. We are all one bet away from losing our recovery. Recovery is a process of believing we are worthy of recovering, and acquiring the skills we need to not have gambling as part of our life. We never arrive; we will always have to stay vigilant. I’m going to dig deep today to go out shopping, as I dread the thought of crowds. Carole
