Thank you for your kind words. . I have had so much pressure today. Had an appt with the jeweller- selling my jewellery for scrap value. I’m in total shock as I come to terms with the devastation of my finances. I’m terrified, as my jewellery was my last source of emergency money. I owe Visa 35,500$. My limit is 36,000$. I’m sick. Before I started gambling really bad again I had it down to 17,000$ ( even though it should’ve been at 0 but I gambled all covid and a little before) 18,000$ later in one month . I think I’m the most terrified because I think if I had money, I’d probably be gambling now. I didnt quit because I’m strong, I quit because I had no more source of funds. I can’t seem to find the higher power, or strength, like the time i quit 7 years ago. Then it was for my children but they’re grown now and independent. I will pray and try to get some sleep. I’m coming down from a few month bender, like an alcoholic I guess. I was gambling every 3 days or at the most every week or ten days.
Positive today-
1. I will sell my much loved jewellery to ensure I do not bounce checks, bills and have money to run my home.
2. I have self excluded from the casinos I play.
3. I do have a few hundred left, I have not gambled that.
4. I am 3 days free. Honestly I couldnt tell you how many days Ive been gambling free, I’m in such shock right now.
Going to try and sleep. Ty again.