Thank you for sharing this. I am just the same as you, the CG that I have developed would turn a fun time into something destructive. I am sorry that you are miserable, but if you can find any consolation, your honesty speaks right to me. I cannot enjoy gambling. I cannot leave an opening to try and go occasionally. If I do, I would post this very same outcome.
I hope you are kind to yourself. Don’t beat yourself up too much. We are all weak at times. There are enough people and enough sufferings that we all have to endure, don’t add to them by being mean to yourself. You screwed up sure, but you had many months of gamble free time. It looks like you learned something that can be added to your arsenal to fight this addiction.
Sending you wwarm thoughts and my thanks again. Hugs to you too.
