Thank you for your reply Velvet.
To be honest I believe my mum put him off of attending these types of groups as she is a recovering Alcoholic and attends AA regularly. I won’t lie and say I haven’t tried to get him to attend meetings, it’s hard for me as he works until 10pm and I have no sitter and I’m at work during the day. He freely admits he has a problem, he just blames it on the football season, but this I know is a lie – he’s been betting on the casino site too.
It’s hard at the moment – there is a big rift in our house and I have no idea how to fix it. I can’t really talk to him at the moment as I honestly don’t know what to say. What can I say that I haven’t said before? What can he promise and do that he hasn’t said and done before? Just more doubts.
He did apologise and assured me that he loved me this morning, which I accepted, but I can’t help the feeling that he’s only sorry that he’s been caught out again. I then decided to look at his phone banking, bad but necessary, and found that his friend sent him £1000 ‘sigh’. More money to pay back so he can’t help me with the debts from before.
I’m tired and I didn’t sleep well, I literally fell asleep at my desk at work, only just nodded off for a couple of seconds, but still. He’s told me to take his money every month, which we have done previously but it didn’t stick (probably my fault as I did not keep my foot down).
Still no signs of anger, it’s laughable really. I think back about all the times I’ve hit the roof after finding out about his slip ups and I just can’t find that emotion. Maybe I have hit that rock bottom.
I probably sound really cold in these posts but I do love him, I just hate what gambling is doing to us. Every time I keep saying one more chance, just one more. As I said previously, we are stuck in this messy cycle.
Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts and I’m sorry for the long post.