[3raser]

hi Vera and thank you for your kind words, good point about not being able to take my 14 days away, i never thought about it like that. You are right as if i hadnt have won my money back then i know %100 i would going and going until i was on rock bottom yet again. you know you are doing it but you just cant fight it. the only way you can stay in control is by not doing it in the first place. i actually woke up the morning with that familiar feeling of having to face another sorting out the mess i made until i remembered that i hadnt got to that point this time, it was a familiar reminder of how easy it could have been reality.
i was looking at chat and i think the next one is midnight my time (im uk) but if i am up i would like to drop in