My youngest son has been here since Sunday…He was in reasonably good form on arrival but is slowly reverting back to his old ways. Playing his father off against me. Eating all night and sleeping all day. Mood very unpredictable. Swinging from hysterical laughter to threatening language. Using the dog as a scapegoat. Taking over my husband’s phone to make calls and send messages and most likely reading his private texts, and jumping, jumping, jumping!
In other words classical bully behaviour
Divide and conquer.
No mention of work. I didn’t ask because he has a history of losing jobs.If I say anything it will be my fault.So I’m keeping my distance.
In the past, I used to escape to the casino from that nonsense. My husband is, as usual, singing dumb. He has allowed my son to verbally abuse me for years during his visits home which up to last Sunday, have become scarce. I think he is scared stiff of his son, which has also in the past been an excuse for me to gamble.
Knowing all I know, today, for me there is no such thing as a “trigger”.
When a CG who has been given recovery tools, gambles, it is because he/she wants an excuse to do so.
I went shopping to “escape”. Back now, with a shepherd’s pie cooking in the oven. My son had all the veg ready and the kitchen sparkling clean. He has too extremes (a bit like me!) All or nothing……He also had rummaged through drawers and wardrobes in my absence which is another of his behaviours that I find hard to tolerate.
A conversation started up which has now escalated into a verbal battle.. His girlfriend phoned him. After the call I could see that his mood had changed. I asked a few questions, just to show an interest and immediately he flew into a rage accusing me of judging her and calling me all the names under the sun. He then demanded to know what I did with his laptop??? Hello!!! I bought it as a Christmas present for him 4 years ago and have never seen it since. He hasn’t lived here since he was 17. Constantly on the move . I mentioned that he may have left it in the last flat he lived in. He went ballistic. He insists I sold it or hid it?
I’m trying to keep a cool head now, because if someone starts a row, I usually am the one to finish it and end up with a splitting headache as a result so I’m putting “pen to paper” instead…..
I have decided I will not allow my son’s behaviour drag me down ever again.
I could cheerfully STRANGLE my weak , cowardly husband for keeping silent………..
After we eat, I intend going for a long drive and a walk in a lit up area . The country roads here are lethal after dark.
My tax rebate is in my bank account so when I go out I will go without an ATM card.
Not that it would make any difference because I have no intention of using gambling as a method of coping with the dysfunctional behaviour of others.
OVER AND OUT!
