[I_Maverick]

SO my relapse has cost me 1 month. 1 month in which I didn’t get loads done, and in which my self esteem dropped more. I am so lost in the past of could’ves and would’ves and should’ves, and if onlys etc etc. I am turning into the most pathetic person I know. I ask myself, what happened to me? What happened to the fun Maverick, who was chilled and relaxed. Who had a dream. Everything feels like dust. I am terrified of the future as I cannot see a future. All I know is that if I gamble it will get worse and worse and worse.

Going onto the group session now, see you all soon. Much love.